1. Sara Bengsch

    I know exactly how you feel. I’m not married yet, but I’m engaged to a wonderful man. And I struggle with exactly what you just said, maybe not the exact same things but the same idea. I’m afraid that if I don’t do certain things or do certain things that I will lose Abid’s love and faithfulness (even though deep down inside I know that he loves me more than life and he will never leave me). It’s just a fear that we have (and I think so many of us struggle with this), and it’s because of our society. They show us that there is always something better out there, but we need to get away from this. If we do or don’t do certain things, the men we love won’t leave us for this (as much as we won’t leave them for things like that). Just know that you are not alone in feeling this way, I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers with this.

  2. nellacamille

    Aprille, I love this! It is so beautiful… to simply Be… and be loved simply for Being. It’s even more awesome to see this in your relationship with Russ… even if your brain does require some reprogramming at times. Have a blessed Sunday.

  3. Hi there, just came across your blog yesterday and something in the honesty in your words and the way you write really reaches my heart. This post today especially speaks to me…letting go of the stresses and anxiety about needing to earn or to be good enough to deserve love, God’s, a spouses, a friends…perfect timing. Today was a huge battle with our three and a half year old son at church and I felt so discouraged, overwhelmed, and embarrassed and a lot of other negative things and left church thinking what a failure I must be in the eyes of everyone there, how they must be thinking what a bad mother I am for not being able to control my son…(I know that is vain and ridiculous but still, I’m all too human I guess.:) So rather that focus on God’s presence and love for me, and that He loves me and wants me at church, disobedient child and all, I focus on, I don’t know, a billion other things, mainly though how I am just not cut out for this and I’m sure that line of thought gets me nowhere really. Sigh…

    Anyway. I like your writing and look forward to coming here. Thanks for the encouragement today. 🙂

    • Thank you for your compliments. It’s always a boost to me when I see what I write making a difference in the lives of other people.

      I’m sorry that you had a difficult day with your son today. There’s a whole post that could be written in regard to feeling like a failure as a mother and how God loves us in spite of those imperfections! If you haven’t you should check out the “Dear Mom Letters” on Finding Joy. Rachel is full of encouragement for the hard days of motherhood!

      I do hope that the rest of your day is better and that you remember that you are always loved!

      • Lindsey

        Colleen – First, I must say that I am not a parent, I do work with children and have some idea of how they work. In my church, there are a number of small children. While I love them all, I have to say that it drives me crazy when they are loud and distracting in church, or running around after – AND THE PARENTS DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! (sorry for the caps, just emphasizing) So thank you for doing that battle with your son – I’d much rather see a parent working with their child, which is usually the harder thing to do, than just letting it go because it’s sometimes easier/less embarrassing to not discipline and teach the child while at church. (Or at the store, the park, etc.) So, please don’t be embarrassed, discouraged, and upset. Thank you for doing the hard thing! I’m just sure you are a GREAT mom!

  4. kathrynann24

    Wow I really loved this Aprille. SO beautiful. I have been like this too and I go back and forth struggling with it occasionally in my walk with God. So thankful for his grace and that we don’t have to do anything to keep it.

  5. I never thought about that song saying that. I have always just sang (sung? hmmm) words. That opened up a discussion with me and Kyle.

    You are very much loved by many people just for who you are! *hug*

    • I had sung it MANY times without thinking. Obviously, the whole song isn’t about that, and in some ways, I’ve taken the line out of context. But it did stop me in my tracks and REALLY make me think! Thanks for commenting!

  6. Sandy

    So many hurting christians struggle with believing their feelings over God’s Word. I have struggled for so many years with that and trusting a distorted view of God rather than His Word.
    God has brought great healing to my heart and soul, however, their are times when I still struggle with it. God is so good, He shows me when those times occur and I take it to Him in prayer and look to His Word and the truth sets me free. God Bless!

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