So Small

One of the biggest problems I’ve had in my marriage is all the little fights I have with my husband…the little fights about the little things…the little things that an hour later you wondered why they were such a big deal in the first place.

It’s unfortunate, but little fights result in big hurts. Big hurts that sometimes take hours or even days to heal.

It’s those times when I wish I could just go back…let that little thing go. Because if I had only known how awful I would feel afterwards, how much emotional intimacy and love I would lose, and how my relationship with my husband would be hurt, I never would have made such a fuss about such a little thing.

In talking with other newlyweds, I have found that I am not alone in this problem. When two people are beginning a life together, they are bringing their differences to one home…and there will be friction. I don’t believe it can really be avoided. However, I believe that God teaches that that friction doesn’t have to escalate to the point of discord.

How can we combat this? I was listening to the radio the other day and heard this song to which I related so much. “It’s so easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big at the time; it’s like a river that’s so wide…it swallows you whole.”

I think that we need to weigh our little disagreements as far as their timing and importance. How important is this problem in light of the lifetime of love that we are seeking with our husbands? Ask yourself a question like “Will this really matter an hour from now, or a day from now, or a week from now.”  I think we sometimes get so consumed, so swallowed up, not by the grievance of our husband, but rather by our pride. We want to PROVE we are RIGHT and he is WRONG!! And that’s why we yell and fuss and cry over something that really doesn’t matter.

So next time you are tempted to be upset with your husband, ask yourself the following question: “Is it worth it? Is getting into an argument about this really worth the loss of emotional intimacy and love that I am desiring with my husband?” From my personal experience, most of the time it really isn’t.