In which I am the “best wife ever”

So yeah, I did a pretty awesome thing. But first, I have to tell you the whole story:

Once upon a time, Russ had a favorite shirt. It looked like this:

We didn’t spend much time together because we dated long-distance, but the few times we were together, he often wore this shirt. These pictures were taken the day we got engaged:

^Side note: now we live in this house^

^Also, look at that adoring face!^

^And, gosh, I was skinny!^

BACK TO THE SHIRT:

Here we are setting up our apartment two weeks before our wedding:

The bad thing about having a favorite shirt is that it gets worn. It gets torn up. And this shirt was no exception.

So, in the days just proceeding our wedding, someone I knew suggested that Russ no longer needed a shirt with holes in it. Thus, the shirt got thrown away.

This event has gone down in history as one of the worst mistakes of my life, and definitely ranks at the top of the list of biggest regrets.

You see, heaven help the wife who comes between her man and his favorite shirt. 

No amount of love, support, meals, sex, gifts, and all around great-wifeyness has ever made up for the loss of said shirt. I could. not. live. it down.

Whenever we go through a clothing store, we look for a replacement. Obviously, finding THE SAME shirt would be nigh impossible, but we have tried hard to find something else. But nothing has come close. It’s always the same: Not the right texture. Not the right color. Plaid too big. Plaid too small. 

Over the months and years, Russ has gone on grieving, and I have gone on regretting.

In our last counseling session, one of the things I mentioned to Russ as something I like to do for him to show him that I love him (aka “love pennies”) is to buy him gifts. Because, it’s relatively easy. Rootbeer in the fridge, his favorite candy bar, etc. He told me that he would try to do a better job of letting me know of purchases that he would like to have (since this man is incredibly difficult to buy for, and rootbeer in the fridge only goes so far).

So on Monday, he started sending me links to possible replacement shirts on Amazon. I took two looks at them and knew they wouldn’t measure up. But, as I’m working to try to be a better wife in spite of exhaustion, I decided to scour the internet and find THE SHIRT. I knew it would be a long shot. But I figured I would try.

I was right. The shirt really is no where to be found. BUT, him telling me that he got the shirt at JC Penney gave me some ideas, and I finally *think* I have narrowed down the brand to Eddie Bauer. I could be wrong, but a search of plaid Eddie Bauer shirts on eBay revealed a lot of promising options. I found two that I thought would fall really close to the original. The first, one of similar color but slightly different texture, was the closest I had ever seen in eight years of looking. The second, looks nearly identical in plaid size and texture, but is blue. I ordered them both.

The red one came yesterday, and when I opened it, I was fairly convinced he would like it. So, I hung it on a hanger and put it in the closet. I promptly forgot about it.

I went to bed about 10PM only to be awakened by Little Brother (who is still having the hardest time sleeping) about 11:30PM. I came back to bed, exhausted and grumpy and Russ asked if he could talk to me. To which I replied grumpily yet emphatically, “No! I need to sleep.” 

Not to be swayed, he proceeded to ignore my response and tell me his, “Just one thing…” Which started like this:

“Are you freakin’ kidding me?” 

The next ten minutes was basically a discourse of him going, “I can’t even…you’re such an awesome wife…I love you, I love you,” and me going “That’s great. If you love me then let me sleep!” Which he finally did.

This morning, he still couldn’t even.

Never in the history of our relationship have I ever given him a gift he has appreciated so much.

So, here’s the thing I want to tell other women about how to be the best wife ever:

1. Don’t ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever throw away an article of clothing belonging to your husband. Ever. Just don’t. EVER. 

2. Learn what’s important to your husband and meet him there. Don’t assume. Don’t downplay, criticize, or THROW AWAY the stuff he thinks is important that you think is dumb, insignificant, or worthless. That crap is hurtful.

3. Be willing to admit when you are wrong.

4. If he has a favorite shirt, let him know how great he looks in it.