1. I will soon be 62 the oldest of 7 I have two brothers that had serious learning disabilities. Neither are stupid, both wanted to learn, but they could not learn the conventional way. I am proud of both of them they have accomplished alot. I am sorry they never got to finish school and was forced to teach them selves. I am happy with all the achievements they have made in helping these children. I have a daughter who struggled thru school never finished high school because we could not get teachers or the school to help her learn her way. She took her HEAD went to college is now a Registered Nurse. Her doctor always said she would do well once she got to college and she did. Some of these kids with learning disabilities are super smart. They just need to be helped. Please if you know one of these special kids help them, save them. Don’t lose them.

  2. Thank you for writing this. It is exactly what we have experienced. The decision to medicate is not easy but it is not an irreversible decision. If it does not suit it can be stopped. However we have to think of the consequences of out of contro ADHD on the whole family. Siblings lives can be made horrendous with an adhd brother or sister. Thank you for writing this it is good to hear of others who have our exact experience

  3. Reneerose Serrano

    This is really true. My son has an adhd, and finished his two years occupational therapy and he is ok now.

  4. Angelique

    A really great written article about the truth. I have twin daughters aged 8 and have to deal with both ADHD and ADD every day. It’s a continual struggle for us all but they are so precious and every child deserves to be praised and admired for their strengths and abilities. Thank you for sharing this.

  5. Karleen

    I have a question – (Back story) I have three sons with Autism (with some ADHD traits but mostly Sensory Processing Disorder) and I have a shop where I make and sell Sensory Items to help children, so I know a little about ADD & ADHD. My house is very structured, rules are set, expectations are in place and the kids know their consequences. My daughter is raising my grandchildren the direct opposite, which is fine but she keeps saying they have ADHD and now she has ADD. My daughter never had any sign of ADD when she was younger and now I see a young single Mom struggling to balance it all which is understandable but I do not see ADD signs. As for my grandchildren, the school and I see no signs of ADHD. There are behavior issues but that seems to comes from lackof structure.

    She gets mad because I do not support the ADHD dx (not sure if it comes form a Dr or not). Now they are living with us and she brushes everything off as ADD for her and ADHD for the kids and it is driving all of us crazy. Not to mention, it is not fair to my sons as bad behavior is not allowed for them as Autism is not to be used as an excuse and yet they see their neice and nephew get away with everything because of ADHD. If I saw even a hint of ADHD, I could understand and would support the dx but there is nothing.

    My question – Should I just agree with my daughter saying that have ADHD or should I try to get her to understand that they don’t?

    • Karleen, this sounds like a very difficult situation you are in. I wish I had some good advice. I would continue to encourage her to pursue an official diagnosis through a developmental behavioral pediatrician, a psychologist, or some other professional. Put it in the hands of the professional to either say that they have it, or convince them that they don’t. That’s not your job. Until they have an on-paper diagnosis (or are willing to), I would not allow maladaptive behavior in your home for no reason.

      Even when ADHD is present (such as it is in our family), we are still working with our child to follow rules which will allow him to function in society. You can read about that here: http://beautifulinhistime.com/2017/03/06/adhd-hack-four-rules/

      ADHD / ODD / Sensory issues cause a lot of anger, aggression, disrespect, defiance, etc. with our boy. We continue to struggle with this across settings – disrespect to teachers at church, punching others at the Y. Does it happen? Yes. Is ADHD a factor to explain WHY he behaves this way? Absolutely! But he is still given consequences for the maladaptive behavior. We are still pursuing strategies to KEEP this from happening (including cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, ongoing counseling, and continual adjustment to his medication regimen). Some days (or weeks), we just have to say, “No, we can’t go to the Y, because you can’t behave.”

      Perhaps, I should state it this way. Mental health conditions (ADHD, Autism, etc) are an explanation for maladaptive behavior, but never an excuse.

      I would continue to institute as much regimen and routine into your home as possible. After all, it is YOUR home, and you should be able to set the rules. If she is not willing to abide by those rules, then she needs to find somewhere else to live. I know that’s easy to say and 100 times harder to do, especially when she is family. So please don’t take this as glib, “Oh you just need to do xyz and everything will be fine” advice.

      I’m a 30-year-old mom of 2 who has never been in a situation like this, so I don’t really have much advice to offer. I’m very sorry.

  6. Can I add that ADHD can’t be cured by “running on a treadmill” or letting them be active all. the. time. Even when our son is active, he still can’t sit still, focus, and has his outburst. (A family member recommended that I let him run on a treadmill instead of medicating him.)

    • OH YES! This bugs me so much. Exercise can HELP with ADHD, but it is not a cure. My son actually can get MORE aggressive, angry, and out of control if he exceeds 30 minutes of intense exercise, especially if he gets hot. I think it’s a sensory thing, but I’m not entirely sure. We have to make him take breaks during intense exercise for this reason.

  7. Mahtazul

    Excellent article. I have a 21 years old son diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Please share more articles of this nature.


    • Please follow along our Facebook page, facebook.com/specialneedssurvival! I share content for parents of children with ADHD and autism over there!

  8. Erin

    As I just saw this through Pinterest, I want to thank you so much for this article! I was diagnosed at 18 (I’m 22 now) and to learn that I was not just simply dealt a “crappy card in the intellectual department” has COMPLETELY changed my life, as I am now a honors college student. ADHD, as I often still have to tell myself due to the shame I experienced growing up, is a legitimate diagnosis and it is ALWAYS a valid explanation. Your son should NEVER feel ashamed for something that will serve him as such an enormous tool.

    Please excuse my passion, but this article should be shared everywhere 🙂

    • Erin, you have no idea what YOUR words mean to me. Parents like myself constantly worry about what kind of life our kids are going to have when right now (when they are young) it feels like getting through the DAY and daily tasks is SO arduous. It’s very hard to look ahead and get out of the stress of NOW to think about how these kids can be smart, successful world changers in the future. So thank YOU!!! And yes, please share!!!

  9. Shari

    THANK YOU!!!! It is so difficult at times. I am a teacher and even being a teacher/mom, doesn’t make it any easier especially when some of my co-teacher don’t “believe” in ADHD. Can you imagine?! So hard to believe they even have degrees in teaching with that mentality. Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you. Will definitely be passing this on to my admin.

    • Shari – I hope that this was helpful to your team. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to do your job when you have a denier for a co-teacher. Ugh. Thank you for all you do as an educator. You are saving grace for so many parents.

  10. Kathleen

    I LOVE this! I wish I could shout it from the roof tops!:
    “So, do this mama a favor:

    The next time you are tempted to share a meme or an internet article about how “back in my day” kids were allowed to be kids instead of being given a behavioral diagnosis and “drugged,” stop. Please, just stop. Go find a parent of an ADHD child and actually talk to them. Get to know them and their child. Spend some time truly trying to understand this diagnosis (and treatment) before propagating myths and misinformation.”

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