Personal and Spiritual Ramblings

Homeschooling special needs: a story of transformation

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This morning, I walked into Ezra’s school and informed his principal we will be homeschooling next year.

Talk about one of the most terrifying moments of my life…

I could sit here and write 2000+ words about the steps that rapidly led up to this decision, the multitude of reasons as to why we feel like homeschooling is the best choice, the curriculum we are looking at, and the plans that we have. But none of that really matters, nor is it really anyone’s business.

That said, I feel that what I MUST chronicle is the transformation that has taken place in my heart and mind over the last week that I can only attribute to a miraculous act of God.

Still Messy…Still Beautiful {the rebrand that’s not really a rebrand}

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But isn’t that the point, really? Because you can brand a website, but you can’t brand your life. You can create a style sheet for your blog, but you can’t create a style sheet for your kids. They are gonna be who they are and do what they are going to do, regardless of the perfect plans you have for them. Because God knows what He’s doing way more than we do. And He’s making something beautiful out of our messy life. Beautiful…messy…motherhood…marriage…faith…life. It’s still messy. It’s still beautiful. Beautiful…in His time. That’s what it’s always been. That’s what it will always be.

Our Eleventh Anniversary: Musings & a Marriage Playlist

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It’s 4:38 a.m. and I’m awoken by a child who needs his nightlight fixed…and a snack. When I crawl back into bed a few moments later, I breathe a sigh and lay my leg to rest across the back of my husband’s calf. He sleeps on his stomach, yet even in his sleep, we somehow … [Read more…]

Money & Mental Health (the things I don’t want to talk about)

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I spent almost the entire day yesterday on Indeed.com. I spent the last three hours of the day looking at disability grants and scholarships. My eyes are blurry, my head aches, and I’m really not any closer to answers. The short story is that our family is in a bit of a money crisis. But … [Read more…]

Hormones & Fatigue: Part 1 – My Health & Weight History (and Update)

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Structuring my life and health AROUND my hormonal cycle is the only way I succeed at anything. I think I will always struggle with fatigue, anxiety, depression, weight management, and digestive issues. This doesn’t mean there’s necessarily something “wrong” with me. It’s a combination of genetics and my overly-stressful life. Sometimes, playing the cards you’ve been dealt is better than trying to find new ones. Being the best me I can be within my health limitations has done more for me than trying to pathologize and fix my limitations ever did.

A raw look at my never-ending war on perfectionism

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A Little Princess movie snow perfectionism

A week ago we sat on the counselor’s couch. I was perturbed because even after declaring to my husband, “We’re here for you,” somehow the conversation kept coming around to me and my issues with perfectionism. *sigh* I say, “I just don’t know why God made me this way.” I’ve made significant strides in combating … [Read more…]

2018 in review: just a year we were capable of more

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Can I be honest with you all for a second? I’ve been a little bit annoyed with the New Year hubbub the last week. People sharing their #topnine photos, sharing resolutions, sharing what they are looking forward to…blah blah blah. I started to wonder if I could boycott the New Year. I’m not even really … [Read more…]

In which my life is one constant extenuating circumstance

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I recently enlisted the help of a close friend who has successfully lost weight to be my accountability partner in trying to lose weight. Because after two years of trying to lose weight on my own, I’ve been 100% unsuccessful. This friend has been wonderful. It’s me who is the problem. Or, more accurately, my … [Read more…]

Ode to the Neurotypical Sibling of the Special Needs Child

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“Can you get LB for me? He just woke up…” I asked my husband who was climbing out of bed. The sounds of LB’s whiny cries were coming through the baby monitor. I wasn’t ready to get up, regardless of what the alarms on my phone were telling me. He laid the fussy child on … [Read more…]