This is the moment everything up til this moment formed into this realization of healing. Because not once during the last few days had I been triggered. Not one hymn. Not one shudder induced by a smell or a sight. No anger. No pain. No regret. Just genuine gratitude and bittersweet joy for my family, for my grandma’s prayers, for the good old hymns, for each and every last memory.
Tomorrow is the day I have kind of dreaded for the last three months. August 26th. The day Ezra shoulda woulda coulda be going back to public school to start 3rd grade. I expected this day to hit me hard with panic: like HOLY CRAP WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?! Instead, my heart is full of PEACE and EXCITEMENT and ALL THE HAPPY FEELS! We are doing this. We are really doing this!!!
I’m officially reviving our former “Beauty in the Mess” Blog Series, a series where I count God’s blessing in my life and the gifts He has given me – sharing both the messy AND the beautiful! Because our primary focus as a family right now is homeschooling our eldest, I will share a few snippets here and there of some of our good homeschooling moments (and maybe a few of our messy ones, too!).
This morning, I walked into Ezra’s school and informed his principal we will be homeschooling next year.
Talk about one of the most terrifying moments of my life…
I could sit here and write 2000+ words about the steps that rapidly led up to this decision, the multitude of reasons as to why we feel like homeschooling is the best choice, the curriculum we are looking at, and the plans that we have. But none of that really matters, nor is it really anyone’s business.
That said, I feel that what I MUST chronicle is the transformation that has taken place in my heart and mind over the last week that I can only attribute to a miraculous act of God.
But isn’t that the point, really? Because you can brand a website, but you can’t brand your life. You can create a style sheet for your blog, but you can’t create a style sheet for your kids. They are gonna be who they are and do what they are going to do, regardless of the perfect plans you have for them. Because God knows what He’s doing way more than we do. And He’s making something beautiful out of our messy life. Beautiful…messy…motherhood…marriage…faith…life. It’s still messy. It’s still beautiful. Beautiful…in His time. That’s what it’s always been. That’s what it will always be.
Medicating your child’s ADHD can feel like a part-time job some days. This is why I say that medicating is totally NOT the easy way out for parents. If anything, it’s harder. But if it allows your child to lead a successful life and be the best version of himself he can be, then it is totally worth it.
I spent almost the entire day yesterday on Indeed.com. I spent the last three hours of the day looking at disability grants and scholarships. My eyes are blurry, my head aches, and I’m really not any closer to answers. The short story is that our family is in a bit of a money crisis. But … [Read more…]
Every once in a blue moon, the boys’ play room needs a good cleaning. It’s the kind of things where kids need to not be present. Momma needs a chance to sort through juice box straw wrappers and annoying little toys that serve no purpose. She needs to throw broken car track pieces and partially-torn … [Read more…]
Can I be honest with you all for a second? I’ve been a little bit annoyed with the New Year hubbub the last week. People sharing their #topnine photos, sharing resolutions, sharing what they are looking forward to…blah blah blah. I started to wonder if I could boycott the New Year. I’m not even really … [Read more…]