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“All he cared about was winning the big race and becoming famous.”
That’s the line out of the board-book version of Cars I just read to my son.
And it made me wince.
Just yesterday I caught myself whining to a dear friend of mine…about my blog stats and feeling left out by the “big name bloggers.”
I came to the end of May and came just 176 views shy of reaching February’s views…and even that was an increase from March and April. I was hoping to “beat” that February high even by one view, just so I could say that I did it. And being that many views short just irked me.
Some days I check my stats several times an hour just hoping the number will go up…and getting frustrated when it doesn’t.
Something about the transfer to wordpress.com (as good as it has been) has awakened this horrible thing within me – this obsession with the numbers, the views, the comments – the obsession with being noticed.
I want to be famous. I want people to know my name. I want to write books and blog posts and have people be able to recognize my name.
There. I said it.
Please someone tell me that I’m not the only no-name “peon” blogger (that wasn’t my word, it was something a friend of mine said) who has felt this way?
It’s not all bad intentioned. I use words like “making a difference” and “encouraging people,” and I mean them with all of my heart. But sometimes, it’s just the desire for fame that drives me.
I keep thinking things like, “If only this post of mine would be shared by so-and-so then maybe some of her 20 thousand some Facebook fans might actually stop by my page and if they shared it then just maybe I could influence more people. If only this post could get into the right hands…”
This small line from a kid’s book that made me wince came right on the heels (within an hour or so) of me reading two posts by other bloggers that had also convicted me and really made me think.
Brooke McGlothlin wrote about what to do “If You Want to Change the World” through blogging and this was her advice:
“Speak the truth with your life. Change the world around you by first looking right beside you.“
And Emily Freeman wrote in her post about “how to build your author platform” and this was her advice:
“A platform is a stage with the spotlight on you. A bench is a community with no spotlight at all. Build your bench.“
I realized tonight that I’ve been focused too much on myself with this whole blogging thing. I try not to – I constantly share the posts of others, read other blogs, comment on them – but still…
I think far too much about the spotlight.
I went onto read that board book about how Lightning McQueen made new friends in Radiator Springs that helped him focus in his race.
“But before McQueen crossed the finish line, The King crashed! McQueen realized there was more to life than winning. Everyone cheered as he pushed the former champ across the finish line.”
I found myself asking this question:
What’s my Radiator Springs? And how can I “build a bench” there?
I don’t know what this will mean for me or the future of this blogging space. Maybe nothing will change that you all can see. But I couldn’t go on without sharing these thoughts and publicly putting it out there:
Sometimes, I see a little too much of Lightning McQueen in myself.
And I want to change that.
So, what about you? Are you a “no name, peon” blogger who struggles with feeling alone or left out? Are you addicted to checking your stats and discouraged when you can’t see blog growth? How do you combat this in your life?
What’s your Radiator Springs? And how can you “build a bench” there?