26 Comments

  1. I had a tough Easter too. Blogged about it, but I’m still trying to dig my way out of a terrible mood. I think it can be especially hard to be struggling at times that are supposed to be extra shiny and happy. Glad you had a better day today!

  2. My “normal” may be different than yours, but it also isn’t the “normal” of so many happy Facebook feed photos. My older son wasn’t here for Easter, he was with his dad. That’s hard. I wish it wasn’t so. I didn’t have a picture of my whole smiling family, dressed in their Easter best (and even if we were all here, the odds of me ever getting a photo of everyone smiling at once are slim to none!). My younger son (just turned 5) came to “big church” with me while my husband sang in the choir, and I spent a lot of the service worrying that people were giving us the stink eye every time he wiggled or laid on the floor looking for something he’d dropped, rather than worshiping God and praising Him for the reason we were there. It’s hard to come away from a service like that with praise in your heart and on your lips. Thank you for sharing. It’s good to know that neither of us are alone in our messes, whatever they may look like.

  3. Your honesty is refreshing and shares a glimpse into the “normal” that is most everyone’s lives…they just don’t put it out there like you’re willing to do. Rest assured that your transparency is encouraging others and that through the struggle there is growth and beauty and redemption.

  4. Alexandra

    We had a rather…dysfunctional Easter as well. Combining sick kids (which meant no pretty Easter outfit pics on FB or church service) and stressful situations going on, it wasn’t picture perfect either. Thanks for sharing this.

  5. I read this after commenting on a picture of my kids and their cousins in a hot tub. My daughter was smiling, but behind the scenes? Well, we had a SCENE! Which resulted in her early departure from the hot tub. So, I understand!!!
    I don’t like that you have to go through this. At all. But this was written so beautifully, so honestly. And you are so right- there are so many who can relate and this message is an important and powerful one. So thankful that today was a good one! I’ve been praying for you and I think the world of you.
    And that last picture of your family- just beautiful! So, you are not naive and that picture WILL be treasured in years to come when the anxiety and frustrations are but a distant memory. That is my prayer!

    • Aww thank you so much Becky. I was so happy with how the pictures turned out once I got them on my computer. I know the boys where just annoyed but I love seeing our family grow and smile in spite of the struggle. Thanks for your encouragement.

  6. Sigh. This was my day too. Different reasons. Not entirely blown out but issues that need mending and only the Great Mender of the huge Chasm can mend…it’s why He came. As Beth Moore puts it, “Jesus came for the ugly life.”. Yours, mine, ours. Amen. He’s still risen…yes? Yes! Love you girl.

  7. Meg Melnik

    Aprille,
    You are not alone! My daughter yelled at screamed at me during our extended family’s Easter dinner. Why did she yell and scream? My elbow had bumped into her. My mother, who was trying to smooth the frustration away, laughed and said “Oh Hope, you’re okay.” This only resulted in more screaming and anger. Hope has autism and is overly sensitive to touch. And so, we try not to brush lightly up against her skin, because this light brush is what she says “makes me feel like ants are crawling on me”. Yet, on this day the table was tightly packed with people and brushing up against one another was hard to avoid. Everyone in my family knows that Hope has these difficulties. And they all try to be understanding when she is overwhelmed. But, sometimes I wonder if they too wish that she was “normal”.

    I certainly understand your anger and frustration at “not being normal”. My brother’s wife and his two children were also at this Easter dinner. My brother’s children sat beautifully, ate all their vegetables, participated in polite conversation and definitely did not yell and scream. Oh how I wished my daughter could be just as “normal” as these other kids. Thank you so very much for your honesty. I hope you’re able to enjoy a quiet moment or two today. God bless, Meg

    • Meg, I really loved hearing from your perspective of the mother of a girl with autism. It’s different circumstances but definitely relatable! Thank you so much for sharing.

  8. Anonymous

    So thankful that our Jesus not only died and rose for us, but lived like us through frustrations and being misunderstood and rejected by the people He came to save, the very people who should have recognised Himand welcomed Him called Him a fraud, hated and wanted Him dead. He suffered all that so He could understand our weaknesses and frustrations and then died and rose again to give us the the strength we need to clain His victory. Thank you for sharing your struggles. Can I be an ” extra” Rubies prayer partner for you?

    • Thank you so much for these words. I think I needed them more today than I did on Sunday. I tend to forget that Jesus was and is probably the most misunderstood person of all time.

      And yes on being an extra partner for me…although, your name didn’t come through, so who is this? 🙂

  9. Stacey Daze

    Sweet girl. Those days certainly to exist in our life, and personally I have given up on whatever normal is. I wonder if it really exists or if we all just try to pretend. But then maybe there are a few who really do hit that point. I feel guilty in the daily wavering, much less the Easter wavering. I may have just made that word up. Or used it incorrectly. I hope you know what I meant. Thank you for sharing your brave honesty!

    • Ah yes…the wavering. Love that.

      Normal is just setting on the washer and dryer I think. I know other people’s lives are not always what they seem, but sometimes in the moment, it’s hard to forget and feel like you are the only one struggling.

  10. “I think for as many people as might be shocked by my ugly honesty, I’m guessing there might be just as many people who needed to hear that they aren’t alone in brokenness and heartbreak and struggle to worship.” I fall into the latter category and want to thank you for being honest! Our family has been unable to attend church for the past 6 months because it is so upsetting for our son. Your words encourage me and all of us who, in spite of our best efforts, are struggling to worship in the midst of challenges beyond our control.

  11. I know so well not feeling how you’re *supposed* to feel. That’s me so much of the time, especially in church when we’ve struggled (and argued) to get there close to on-time then spend 90% of the time distracted by the kids’ behavior.

    I like to think that God understands and appreciates our efforts. After all, it’s easy to be happy and pious when everything is perfect and running smoothly. When our prayer is an act of will instead of feeling, how much more it’s worth!

    Easter blessings! Thank you for linking up your Easter post!

Leave a Reply