Hot angry tears were rolling down my face as we went back and forth, round and round. It was one of those conversations that needed to happen but was hard for both of us. We were both hurt – although, I probably more than she. We were both struggling to understand each other. The tears … [Read more…]
What’s your testimony? What has God done for you? I’m unsure how to answer the questions posed by a trusted counselor. In the past the story of my testimony has been the “easy” answer to the church-ese question: When did you get saved? I’ve never shared the answer here because my testimony is so much … [Read more…]
There is so much fluidity here…in the everyday us.
So you won’t be able come here and find someone who is put together or who breathes inspiration into your life. Sometimes I wish I could be that for you – but I can’t and won’t pretend to be something that I’m not.
But what you can find here is a work in progress.
some of the randomness that’s been going through my head the past few weeks
Next Saturday, on a beautiful sunny day in May, you’ll turn your tassel. Your perfect day will be the beginning of a tumultuous decade of change and pain and growing up the hard way.
this choosing of whitespace, it’s a mighty work. I’m moving a mountain of stress, anxiety, fear, one shovel of scary crap and deep breath at a time.
The restrictive cocoon of legalism was a necessary part of my life. It couldn’t make me fly, but there would be no butterfly without it.
He left everything behind. All the rules, all the standards, all the goodness. He let go of his own righteousness so that he could embrace the grace of Christ. He let go of everything but Jesus – then spent the rest of his life zealously trying to convince the world of the wonder of God’s grace.
But TRUE grace-filled living is not about doing whatever you want without care and crying “there’s grace for that!” when you know what you are doing is wrong.
The difference between grace-filled me and former legalistic-me has very very little to do with what I do or don’t do, what I abstain from and what I participate in. But it has everything to do with my motivation.
You cannot accept God’s grace for your daily Christian life until you let go of your own righteousness. God’s grace and your own goodness are incompatible. It’s one or the other, and you have to choose.
And so I left it all behind. All the working for His favor. All the seeking for answers. All the desiring of the acceptance of people. Because He already has what I need. And He always has.
In that moment, I felt myself truly let go of “all else.” I felt myself running to his arms. Accepting his love, his peace, his forgiveness, and his grace.
When I really grasped it, that big weight that I had been carrying around (guilt, shame, expectations, fears) just slipped off my back.
