Doubts and Reassurances

Now that I’m no longer on vacation I’m realizing it’s a bit harder to stay off of Facebook. I’m feeling the urges and desires creeping back…the doubts that maybe this won’t work for me.

Yesterday at the hospital, I saw two of my Facebook friends. It was weird for me. I felt kind of disconnected from their lives, and I didn’t know what to say. I wrote this down in a notebook I had with me:

Feeling lonely–disconnected. I see friends at the hospital and feel at a loss as to what to say. One I will never see again. I want to say, “Keep in touch, I’ll see you on Facebook!” I know I have her email, but it’s not the same as Facebook – seeing the little details of her life.

The truth is that I’m doubting / scared. I’m afraid of isolating myself and having no social outlets. I feel like I can’t influence people or reach out to them in the same way.

But God says to me, “I am not bound by time. I am the same – Yesterday, today, forever. Could I have used you before 2006? Would I have provided your needs? I can still do that now. I will provide your needs. I will give you friends. You don’t have to look to a social network. Yes, it may take more effort, but isn’t that what a true friend is willing to do?”

And so I try to fight these doubts with the truth that with God’s help and provision, I can live outside the constraints of modern society and still have a social life and maintaing good friendships.

Verses for today:

Philippians 4:19 – but my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus

2 Corinthians 9:8 – And God is able to make all grace about toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things may abound to every good work.

That evening I got to email back and forth with a friend who has made a similar decision to mine a few months back. She was such an encouragement and helped me sort through these feelings and give me reassurance.

Then this morning I went to a nearby garage sale…I was looking for two things in particular, neither of which they had. But this particular house had a plethora of gently-used educational materials. The seller was a first-grade teacher turned sixth-grade teacher, and she was selling all of her teaching supplies! Had I had more in my wallet and a bigger bank account, I would have bought it all and stored it for the future, but knew we couldn’t afford to do that. But my mind raced to my local homeschooling friends. I reached for my phone, snapped a few photos, and…

Oh man! Why did I get rid of my Facebook account again? This is one of those PERFECT opportunities to actually HELP people with it. I could let all of my friends know about this amazing garage sale daggone it!!!!!

It is in my nature to want to help people. I like to find things (online resources, websites, sales, garage sales) and share them with people I know that can use them. It’s one of my strengths…and here I was at a loss to what to do.

But then I realized…well…I have a few people’s phone numbers! Text text text SENT! and I got a text back, and then a phonecall from another. Two were going to check it out! Then I came home and sent off a few emails to some other people on my friends list. (Thanks to that two minutes the other night that I reactivated my account just to sync my email address book with my Facebook account to get everyone’s email addresses!)

I heard back from a few, and at least two of the friends I contacted went to the sale and bought things for their children. It was a very little thing. I mean, just a garage sale, and one at which I didn’t even purchase anything. But being able to share that information with people, to see it benefit them, and to do this all privately without the use of Facebook…I mean what a NOVEL idea!!! It was just the reassurance I needed at the moment when I was feeling some doubts.

God is not bound by time. Can He and has He used Facebook in my life to use me to help others? I believe absolutely so! But do I need Facebook to accomplish this? Can He work outside of this boundary I have placed on myself over the last 5 years…Yes! God is bigger than Facebook.