1. Liz C

    I love how honest you are with your posts. This kind of transparency is real and relatable. Even though I don’t have a child with sensory issues, I felt your pain as a mother and your love for your children in this post. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Robyn

    I think all mamas of special needs children go through these same questions. We all wonder if their needs are compounded by something we did or didn’t do. For me, I can’t change what’s in the past only look forward. I don’t know if my son will always have his deficits but he is making positive progress and all I can do is love him through it and pray for continuing progress, you know that it doesn’t stop. God is amazing and full of wonder and while I do what I can, I know if he becomes “typical” for lack of a better word, it will be nothing short of a miracle. You are doing a great job of loving your son especially when it’s the hardest, and that really is what’s so important. May God bless your family, and your efforts. Lots of love to you mama.

    • Thank you so much, Robyn. I so agree with all you said. I am quite a thinker and I believe that sometimes I get too lost in my own head looking for answers when I just need to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. One thing that helps me is visualizing him graduating high school as a competent young adult. I truly believe that will be possible, it’s just SO hard to keep that in front of me in the day-to-day struggles.

  3. I’ve never had to love a special needs child before, so I think this is one of the most helpful & insightful posts that I’ve read on you blog! Thank you for the insight!!

    • I’m so glad it was insightful. You never know when this information can come in handy as you deal with people in ministry or, not that I would ever wish this, in your own future parenting.

  4. Ruth

    I just started reading your blog. I don’t know if you have written about this before. Have you looked into having him evaluated for autism? Asperger(although it’s not called that anymore). You seem to be very thorough in your quest to find answers. It’s just that my daughter was diagnosed SPD( sensory processing disorder) at a young age, but the autism was completely overlooked because she was on the higher end of the spectrum.

  5. Kelly

    You are doing the right things. I had a really hard time spiritually when my son was at this stage as well, though some of that was coming from other things that were going on in life.

    Have any of your OTs talked about retained primitive reflexes. Both of my boys had them, and the Moro reflex, in particular, causes a lot of “fight or flight” responses that come up when SPD kids get angry and upset. We found that our OT didn’t completely address reflexes, but we had developmental vision evaluations for our kids that did find reflex issues (they also can cause eye motor problems). Anyway, they had vision therapy to address the eye motor issues, and that therapy targeted retained primitive reflexes. That, combined with a brushing protocol for my fight or flight kid, took away a lot of the big blow ups, and the ones we have are so much less difficult and less frequent.
    I’ve also heard VERY good things about these two books: The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, and Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students by Christine Fonseca.
    Best wishes. I really appreciate your blog and have shared it with many people.

    • No, the “retained primitive reflexes” issue is totally new to me, but does make some sense. What brushing protocol do you use? We have tried, off and on (rather inconsistently), but he’s very ticklish and it turns into a tickling/giggling event. Any thoughts on that?

  6. Amanda Hill

    I work with children with different diagnoses. This post gave me chill bumps…in a good way. It was so honest. I work with families in their homes but I still question what it must be like to have to consider differences day in and out.

  7. Jessica

    I have a kiddo who has struggled with many of the same things it seems. There is a book that changes the way I view everything regarding my son and myself as a parent raising a child with special needs. The book is “Not What I Expected: Help and Hope for Parents of Atypical Children” by Rita Eichenstein PhD. It seriously was life changing for me. Instead of tirelessly searching for solutions I’ve learned to accept my son as he is. I feel like through acceptance, I am able to see the changes I can make as a parent, and be okay with that. I cannot take away all of his struggles, but I myself can be prepared to catch him when he needs me. I can only change myself and not him. Though true, by changing the way I parent, it has indirectly changed him in many ways. I accepted his asynchronous development, sensory issues, and behavioral issues. I stopped comparing him to other kids his age and stopped reading forums about gifted kids, ADHD, and autism and learned to enjoy him, just him. His defiant behaviors have been decreasing over time. I think that this is because he feels I truly understand him. We still have consequences for when stuff gets tough, but we have to put them in place a lot less these days.

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