15 Comments

  1. Brenda @TripleBraided

    Aprille, I just love that you are writing on this topic! As someone who was single until she was 32, I felt the strain because of age and marital status between single and married women. Single women need married women!!! I could talk for hours about this topic. Thank you for sharing it! I’ll be sharing it in my newsletter! 🙂

  2. We started out our marriage in a church with a composition of about 90% old people, and 5% singles, and maybe 5% middle aged (40s) couples/families. So, there weren’t a lot of options for interacting with anyone other than couples.A lot of the singles in the churches we’ve been at have been a good bit younger than me, and so have tended to hang out more with others their age. So, I don’t really feel like I’ve had a lot of opportunities to develop relationships with singles.

    That being said, I have nothing against being friends with singles, though at times there have been occasions of “what do we have in common?” I think it’s pretty natural to stick with those who you have the most in common with, but you’re right – we do need to break down those walls.

  3. I’ve found that I often enjoy the company of my single friends more than my married friends. Not because they are single or because they don’t have children, but because I’m friends with them because we actually have things in common besides similarly-aged children. I’m not religious so my friends are made in other settings, and most of my ‘mom friends’ have come from mothers’ groups and whatnot. In almost every case, we have nothing in common. We talk about our kids. Our children play, we get along fine but that’s about as deep as the relationship goes. With other friends, we may have the same values, the same interests, the same sense of humor, the same tastes, so we form that deeper connection. It’s also easier navigating a coffee date when there’s only one set of kids there 😉 And it’s nice being able to have a conversation about something other than the kids.

    I’d also say I don’t really see much difference in my single vs married friends, because most of my friends are in long-term relationships, even if they aren’t married. The biggest lifestyle difference is whether they have children or not.

  4. Love this post, Aprille! I was 23 when I married my husband, but learned pretty quickly to not place limits or expectations on friendships. The unexpected friends that I made along the way (the ones who were at a completely different stage in life) have blessed my life so fully. I think the best answer is to never say no to any friendship potential! All women are worth pursuing!!!

  5. Thank you for that sweet post. As a single gal in my late 20s I love it when I can have friends that are married with kids, all but a few of mine are. It is true that there are some things we can’t connect on but the them we do have in common help us form great friendships. I think sometimes there can be even more issues on the single gals part because you are right, there is a bit of envy and pain. (That’s something the LORD and I are still working through.) Blessings!

  6. Thank you so much for this post! I loved hearing your perspective on this topic as I am ‘one of those single’ ladies who try to attend church events to meet other people. I’ve honestly had the exact same thought thought you shared, “And you want to say something like “Hey let’s go have coffee,” but your mind goes blank and you wonder what you could possibly have in common?” except for it’s been when I’ve wanted to get to know women who are married with children. 🙂

  7. natasha

    Thats Aprille for your post. See I’ve never really thought about single friends and married its never been an issue until recently. One of my un -married friend has started / maybe she was being asked out by a married man. So then she asked me to transport her to the married man, and put my foot down and told her i couldn’t. And i mean i really couldn’t, its like something came over me my whole body was shaking, my heart was pounding it was really an insane moment. being that i’m one of those people who is always on some “its not my life she’s ruining” but i couldn’t help but think of that wife sitting there waiting for her husband to come home cos suddenly that wife was me.
    and here i was trying to be made to participate in something that did not sit well with me.

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