This is the moment everything up til this moment formed into this realization of healing. Because not once during the last few days had I been triggered. Not one hymn. Not one shudder induced by a smell or a sight. No anger. No pain. No regret. Just genuine gratitude and bittersweet joy for my family, for my grandma’s prayers, for the good old hymns, for each and every last memory.
Maybe you have looked up to people like Rachel Held Evans and Joshua Harris. I know that I did. Maybe their deconstruction stories have shaken your faith. Maybe you wonder if faith deconstruction is for you. Maybe you are ready to walk away from it all. It’s tempting to take a hacksaw to your faith, dump the remains in the yard waste cart, and wipe your hands of it all as the city utility workers haul it all away. But I urge you: build a compost pile. Stay. Please stay. Because the tree grows on the fallen forest. If it died, it can live again.
But isn’t that the point, really? Because you can brand a website, but you can’t brand your life. You can create a style sheet for your blog, but you can’t create a style sheet for your kids. They are gonna be who they are and do what they are going to do, regardless of the perfect plans you have for them. Because God knows what He’s doing way more than we do. And He’s making something beautiful out of our messy life. Beautiful…messy…motherhood…marriage…faith…life. It’s still messy. It’s still beautiful. Beautiful…in His time. That’s what it’s always been. That’s what it will always be.
Over the last few posts in my series, Grace: How a Recovering Legalist Moves Forward in Faith, I feel that I’ve done the best I can do to present theologically-sound, Scripturally-based truth about pursuing a relationship with God. My posts have been purposed and thought-out over months of planning, mulling, and meditating. What I have presented … [Read more…]
Regeneration. Congratulations. If you have even clicked on this post I admire your bravery in tackling a big scary Bible word. Even growing up in a Bible-saturated environment like I did, I admit that I haven’t taken the time I should to dig deep and figure out what God actually means by the word regeneration. … [Read more…]
At our March 2017 care group meeting, our discussion turned toward the topic of spiritual disciplines. By definitions, “spiritual disciplines” are generally those things that should be habitual to the Christian walk: reading the Bible, prayer, gathering with God’s people. I was able to honestly share my struggles about duty versus desire in regard to … [Read more…]
It’s been over two years since I first talked about Bible journaling here on the blog. I haven’t spent nearly as much time on this as I would like, but I wanted to give a small update, share some things I’ve colored and created, and share some great resources I have found. Bible journaling is … [Read more…]
The practical struggle of everyday Christian living when you are a recovering legalist When I spent two and a half months in 2013 fleshing out the theology of grace while telling my personal story, I came to a lot of good conclusions that I believe to be Biblical. Let me summarize them in a nutshell: … [Read more…]
Nearly every Sunday morning I sit down in the pews of our church with ease, knowing that I am safe and loved. But that doesn’t keep me from sometimes being blindsided with songs, Christian jargon, and even Bible verses that I find to be triggers to some of the darker days of my spiritual past. … [Read more…]