I’m dreaming of a white(space) Christmas

They say that, “We plan and God laughs.”

While I’m not sure that I believe that, I think the Proverb indicates how often life doesn’t fall in line with our plans. Such could not be truer of this year’s quest for whitespace – doing less in hopes of lowering my stress levels and find more space for personal and spiritual development.

As we head into the holiday season, I’m refocusing again onto the idea of whitespace.

Last year, the holidays were incredibly difficult to me. I went through an invisible struggle with depression, and most days, just felt downright apathy toward the whole holiday endeavor. I couldn’t really see past the circumstances we were in (my husband’s untreated anxiety, cramped living situation, my husband’s no-time-off work schedule, and limited finances) and wrap my head around celebrating much of anything. When I did try, it felt forced and faked, like I wasn’t really present in the moment, but rather playing a role in a play or movie. I was disconnected, and the fact that I was didn’t bother me, which bothered me. (If that makes any sense at all.)

Social media is a beast at the holidays. It just is. Not only do you have to combat comparison as you scroll through your Facebook and Instagram feed, but blog posts about what the holidays should, shouldn’t, or could look like are abounding.

It’s hard to focus within the walls of your own home when every one on the internet has an opinion on shopping on Thanksgiving or Black Friday, supporting slave labor with our Christmas shopping, or the evils of lying to our children with Santa and Elf on the Shelf. Then there’s also the 1001 ways we could be having a more organized, more fun, more giving, more Pinteresty, or more deeply spiritual Christmas. The holidays have become the time when moms start feeling like they have to defend their choices, rather than just making their choices and enjoying them.

Is there anyone else out there already overwhelmed? (And it’s not even Thanksgiving yet?)

Somehow I don’t think that this is what the angels were intending when they came singing, “Peace on earth.”

So this year, I’m just going to take a lot of deep breaths and relax a bit.

I mentioned in my last post how the winter is much harder for my fatigue levels and how I’m learning to plan ahead and live within my limitations at the holiday season to conserve energy for the rest of the winter. As I look back on how last year was for me and look forward to what I want this holiday season to be like, I feel like it’s necessary for me to scale back and do less.

For me, here’s some things I am planning to do or not do:

• No decorating other than a Christmas tree and perhaps some lights in Ezra’s room
• Picking one and only one Christmas cookie recipe to bake
• Not individually wrapping all of the Christmas books we will read each day {an idea which we stole from Leah over at Embracing Grace} and instead just enjoying reading them
• Journalling things I’m thankful for every day {an assignment from my therapist}

What I choose to do doesn’t really matter. The point is this:

I urge you – mom’s especially – to take some time (before we get all caught up in it all) and evaluate what you want Christmas to look like for you. Make sure there’s whitespace around the edges of the to-do lists, shopping lists, and activity lists for life – and Christmas – to just happen the way that life so beautifully does.