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  1. D Carr

    I am a mother of a 32 yr.old daughter who was diagnosed with mental retardation and autism. back then not much was mentioned about it and she wasn’t diagnosed til she was 10 as autistic. Offer to sit with the child so the mom and dad can have an evening together. It does put a strain on the marriage. Or so they can do things with other children if they have them. Offer to take over a meal. How hard is it to double a recipe if you are cooking for your family.Things can really get hectic and you can only do fast food so long. A girls night would be wonderful. Grabbing a burger or seeing a movie will give her a break. And remember the child will get older and may be more difficult for them to participate or go along. Parents may feel torn when siblings are involved in school activities. One parent may have to stay home with the child. REALLY get to know the child so they feel comfortable leaving the child with you and you will be comfortable with the child. So if you ask her out and she says she doesn’t have anyone to sit with her child say that’s ok. we’ll bring them along. That way you will see how she handles situations and be more comfortable. Having a friend to help is a blessing that they won’t take for granted!

  2. Anna

    Hi, found your post via Pinterest and wanted to tell you what a beautiful thing it was to read. I was so touched by your desire to be an empathetic and understanding friend; you come across as the kind of friend any SN mom would love to have. I am relatively new to this journey(my daughter with downs is 20 mos old) but already have known the pain of losing friendships because of discomfort, the difficulties of talking about her with friends trying hard to be sympathetic, and the healing of open conversations about misunderstandings. Have shared this post with good friends who truly love our family just to encourage them in how they are already loving us well. Thank you for your compassionate heart that can truly only come from God, and for writing such wonderful advice!

    • Anna, thank you so much for reading and sharing. My three best friends all have children with autism so it becomes more of a passion of mine with each passing day!

  3. Maureen Rodgers

    The advice comment is the best suggestion. As an RN treating my son for cancer was a challenge and so many people tried to give me advice on new treatments. They were not medical people just friends so it hurt to think I wasn!t doing enough to find treatment.

  4. I am in tears reading this. What a wonderful friend you are to take the time to be such a voice for your friends of special needs kiddos. I could relate to everything you wrote as a mom of a special needs boy, and feel so energized by your words and how you are engaged in your friends lives – understanding, compassionate, eager to learn. God bless you!

    • Thank you so much. A year after I wrote this post, my son was diagnosed with special needs myself. My friends pour back into my life DAILY and we have such a sweet friendship. I am glad you were encouraged.

  5. Susannah

    I am crying as I read this because I am a special needs mom that is so tired and so lonely. It’s so hard walking this road sometimes and I feel like most of my family and friends just don’t really get it. I know what my kid does seems cute to them, but they don’t live with us and see the daily meltdowns, struggles and hurts that happen. I’ve been praying for a friend.

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