7 Comments

  1. Rhea

    I came across your blog completely at random. I actually work in publishing in the UK, though at a very junior level, and I just had to tell you how fantastic a writer you are. I can only imagine what you’re going through, and even that is simply because you write with such clarity and grace about topics that are so difficult to even broach. You must keep writing, no matter what. You say it’s your dream to write a book – I pray that you do. There’s a book called A Boy Made of Blocks that is doing brilliantly at the moment. There is a space for honest writers, for stories like yours. You already know how to write it. Sending you and your beautiful family lots of love and strength.

    Rhea xx

    • Wow, thank you so much, Rhea. It seems like my writing bouts come in waves. Sometimes I’m willing to get gritty and vulnerable. Other times I just need to be present with my family and deal with our hardships alone. It’s an ebb and flow, for sure, but I don’t plan to ever give up on writing. We’ve started a new Facebook page, Special Needs Survival, where we are sharing all of our special needs content from now on. I would love for you to follow along our journey and keep up with my future writing endeavors.

      Thank you again for your encouragement. It means the world.

  2. Dawn

    Thank You Ladies (and Dads) for publishing your blogs. I am sitting here in tears….of relief and understanding. So much of what you’ve published here, mirrors more of our life than you can imagine….or maybe you can 😉 ..You have answered and addressed YEARS of unanswered, questions, concerns, worries, and fears. I will continue to read and share your blogs, in hopes of helping my son and I, but also our extended family, friends, and neighbors….along with any other Moms who may be in any of our situations. …The Mom of a special needs child, or, The Mom of the undiagnosed special needs child (I personally know 3 who are going through living nightmare’s….1st. Because her husband doesn’t want their child tested or labeled. 2nd. Because the entire family wants to deny that anyone in the family has autism, because of the stigma, so she and her husband have chosen Not to tell their child, or family, why “he is, the way he is” and has so many difficulties, 3rd. Because this entire family would rather believe that there’s nothing different about their child (or anyone elses) and he/they will “grow out of” these behaviors with “Proper love and discipline”. So, unfortunately, in all 3 cases their child is suffering because of not getting the needed help and therapies, AND are being mis-labeled as problems, bullies, brats, lazy…etc. This happened to a fourth friend of mine. She knew her daughter had special needs, but due to familial pressure, never had her tested. Her daughter was mis-labeled and mistreated her entire life (25 years), until she finally “shut down” and retreated to her bedroom for months. THEN the family said they should send her to a psychiatrist….SIGH….My poor Mother Friend did….eventually either the psych Dr. or one of the therapists suggested to test for A.S.D…..Guess what??? Hallelujah! She was diagnosed, has been receiving much needed help, therapy, love, understanding and acceptance. The progress has been slow, but, she is progressing.

    Her Mom…she has finally gotten the relief and understanding and finally, familial backup that she has needed all these years, to help her daughter and herself. I am going to pass your blogs on to them too. I wish we all would have had such brave and loving Moms/friends like you, at the beginning of our journeys. ….Life, Love, and Understanding would have made ours and our childrens lives might have been, maybe not less of a struggle…But, more understood. Thank You again !

  3. Margaret Howard

    Hi, Aprille,
    I know you from our Facebook affiliate pinning group, and since we just followed each other on Pinterest something came up on my feed that was about your blog. I was intrigued when I saw that you had a special needs child with a language delay disorder and behavior problems. Aprille, I went through much the same thing with my son, James, who is now 32 years old.

    James had a series of ear infections that interfered with his language acquisition. Since he missed the ideal time for learning to speak (18 months to 2 years), he was always frustrated and having meltdowns. He knew what he wanted yet could not express it. When he was frustrated he would bang his head on the floor. He couldn’t be calmed. He was my 3rd child and first son and I was such a lousy mother for him. Once, in Walmart, he had such a loud and screaming meltdown that a man angrily told me I needed to learn to control my child. I offered to give him James so he could see that I was trying so very hard but to no avail. (I later understood that James’s fit was because I tried to run in for just one or two things and didn’t get a card for him to sit in. I learned that doing things the same way every time helped keep the raging outbursts to a minimum.)

    Speech therapy helped a lot but early on his therapist couldn’t get even a basal score for language and vocabulary. She wrote this in a report and sent it to his pediatrician. Another doctor there read it and called my husband and told him we needed to get him evaluated to see just how mentally impaired he was. I cried for hours.

    He did progress until the only noticeable thing about him was that he really didn’t get idioms, even in upper elementary. As he learned to speak, the rages diminished. He was nearly kicked out of church preschool because of his ‘scary’ temper, but his teacher relented and I ghosted around the building waiting to be called upon. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to write a book. I just wanted you to know that I’ve been there, back in the 80s, and I feel so much for you and your family. It’s hard work, but hopefully Ezra will be able to let the rage go as he becomes older. James did.

    Margaret Howard

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