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faith

How to deal with spiritual abuse triggers at church

October 29, 2017 by Aprille 3 Comments

Nearly every Sunday morning I sit down in the pews of our church with ease, knowing that I am safe and loved. But that doesn’t keep me from sometimes being blindsided with songs, Christian jargon, and even Bible verses that I find to be triggers to some of the darker days of my spiritual past. … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Health, Wellness, & Self Care, Messy Faith, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings Tagged: abuse, CBT, church, cognitive behavioral therapy, faith, fundamentalism, grace, hymns, legalism, recovery, spiritual abuse, therapy

A Messy Prayer in the Wake of the Nashville Statement

August 31, 2017 by Aprille 3 Comments

In the wee hours of the morning, I had an incredible dream. I feel like it so deeply depicts my heart in this current political and religious climate, especially this week after the release of Nashville Statement, and I have decided to share it with you. _____ I drove to the parking lot of our … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Personal and Spiritual Ramblings Tagged: faith, gay, legalism, lgbt, nashville statement

Face to Face: A Messy Tribute to the Place I First Met God

August 15, 2017 by Aprille 5 Comments

If you have ever been on my blog before, you probably know that I feel like I have a complicated “faith story.” (If you are new to my blog, you might want to start here.) After walking away from “fundamentalism” in my mid-twenties, I’m now in the process of letting God reconstruct my faith as … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Messy Faith, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings, Redemption Stories Tagged: Bible, camp, church, faith, god, hell, messy faith, peniel bible camp, scripture, summer

Stained Glass Masquerade: 6 Reasons We Left Our Church

July 17, 2017 by Aprille 10 Comments

To continue on telling the story of how a recovering legalist moves forward in faith, I must share the steps (and missteps) that our family taken in regard to church. What I will share in this post is not meant to be a scathing exposé. Rather, it is meant to be an explanation of the … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Family, Friendship & Community, Messy Faith, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings Tagged: broken, brokenness, church, faith, legalism

Grace: How a Recovering Legalist Moves Forward in Faith

June 29, 2017 by Aprille 4 Comments

A few weeks ago a fellow faith blogger asked me to write a guest blog for her some time about my faith journey. “I’m particularly interested in your journey to finding Jesus…how grace has changed your life…or something of that nature.” I readily agreed. That was a month ago and I haven’t written a word…until now. … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Messy Faith, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings, Redemption Stories Tagged: church, faith, grace, legalism

When the Christmas spirit is no longer broken and joy is less of a choice

December 18, 2016 by Aprille 1 Comment

I sat down to work on our yearly Christmas e-mail this past Wednesday. Three hours later I was still typing and formatting. I got done and was completely overwhelmed and undone. December has already been so full. Just. So. Full. Of. Goodness. Sunday two weeks ago, we joined a Sunday School class that is discussing … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Beauty in the Mess, Christmas, Ezra, Family, Military and Veteran Life, Miscellaneous, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings, Special Needs Parenting Tagged: anxiety, christmas, christmas spirit, christmas tree, church, decorating, depression, discipleship, Ezra, faith, love, santa

Bible Journaling: Art Therapy for my Bible Scars

January 2, 2016 by Aprille 17 Comments

In the bottom of my nightstand drawer sits my Bible. It is every bit the cliche of the “Bible collecting dust tucked away somewhere” that I always heard preached about. In all of the writing I’ve done here on my blog about faith, I haven’t talked much about it: the Word…tucked away in the bottom of … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Messy Faith, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings Tagged: art, art therapy, Bible, church, coloringa, faith, journaling

No Matter What, I Believe: On Broken Faith and Healing Birth

October 31, 2015 by Aprille 7 Comments

August 25, 2015 – 39 weeks, 6 days I had originally planned to title this post “Strong enough? Finding the balance between female empowerment and dependence on God.” And I’m going to talk about that, I promise. But I realize, at 1 day shy of 40 weeks up at 5:30AM having contractions, that I can’t … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Hope: One Word for 2015, Messy Faith, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings, Pregnancy & Birth, Redemption Stories Tagged: cesarean, church, faith, god, TOLAC, VBAC

My VBAC Preparation Pregnancy and Labor Playlist

October 7, 2015 by Aprille 6 Comments

Music was one of the most instrumental things that provided comfort, healing, and hope for me during my pregnancy and birth. I started looking for songs for my playlist in the first trimester. By second trimester, I had all of the songs on my phone, in a Youtube pregnancy and labor playlist, and burned to … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Pregnancy & Birth Tagged: cesarean, Christian, faith, healing, labor, music, playlist, pregnancy, TOLAC, VBAC, youtube

Broken faith: more of my testimony and what God has done (and is doing) for me

January 20, 2015 by Aprille 16 Comments

What’s your testimony? What has God done for you? I’m unsure how to answer the questions posed by a trusted counselor. In the past the story of my testimony has been the “easy” answer to the church-ese question: When did you get saved? I’ve never shared the answer here because my testimony is so much … [Read more…]

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Posted in: Hope: One Word for 2015, Messy Faith, Personal and Spiritual Ramblings Tagged: brokenness, faith, fear, grace, hope, legalism, recovery, salvation, testimony
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