Personal and Spiritual Ramblings,  Writing and blogging

When you see Lightning McQueen in yourself

June 2, 2013 /
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“All he cared about was winning the big race and becoming famous.”

lightning mcqueen

That’s the line out of the board-book version of Cars I just read to my son.

And it made me wince.

Just yesterday I caught myself whining to a dear friend of mine…about my blog stats and feeling left out by the “big name bloggers.”

I came to the end of May and came just 176 views shy of reaching February’s views…and even that was an increase from March and April. I was hoping to “beat” that February high even by one view, just so I could say that I did it. And being that many views short just irked me.

Screen shot 2013-06-02 at 7.24.41 PM

Some days I check my stats several times an hour just hoping the number will go up…and getting frustrated when it doesn’t.

Something about the transfer to wordpress.com (as good as it has been) has awakened this horrible thing within me – this obsession with the numbers, the views, the comments – the obsession with being noticed.

I want to be famous. I want people to know my name. I want to write books and blog posts and have people be able to recognize my name.

There. I said it.

Please someone tell me that I’m not the only no-name “peon” blogger (that wasn’t my word, it was something a friend of mine said) who has felt this way?

It’s not all bad intentioned. I use words like “making a difference” and “encouraging people,” and I mean them with all of my heart. But sometimes, it’s just the desire for fame that drives me.

I keep thinking things like, “If only this post of mine would be shared by so-and-so then maybe some of her 20 thousand some Facebook fans might actually stop by my page and if they shared it then just maybe I could influence more people. If only this post could get into the right hands…”

This small line from a kid’s book that made me wince came right on the heels (within an hour or so) of me reading two posts by other bloggers that had also convicted me and really made me think.

Brooke McGlothlin wrote about what to do “If You Want to Change the World” through blogging and this was her advice:

“Speak the truth with your life. Change the world around you by first looking right beside you.“

And Emily Freeman wrote in her post about “how to build your author platform” and this was her advice:

“A platform is a stage with the spotlight on you. A bench is a community with no spotlight at all. Build your bench.“

I realized tonight that I’ve been focused too much on myself with this whole blogging thing. I try not to – I constantly share the posts of others, read other blogs, comment on them – but still…

I think far too much about the spotlight. 

I went onto read that board book about how Lightning McQueen made new friends in Radiator Springs that helped him focus in his race.

“But before McQueen crossed the finish line, The King crashed! McQueen realized there was more to life than winning. Everyone cheered as he pushed the former champ across the finish line.”

I found myself asking this question:

What’s my Radiator Springs? And how can I “build a bench” there?

I don’t know what this will mean for me or the future of this blogging space. Maybe nothing will change that you all can see. But I couldn’t go on without sharing these thoughts and publicly putting it out there:

Sometimes, I see a little too much of Lightning McQueen in myself.

And I want to change that.

So, what about you? Are you a “no name, peon” blogger who struggles with feeling alone or left out? Are you addicted to checking your stats and discouraged when you can’t see blog growth? How do you combat this in your life?

What’s your Radiator Springs? And how can you “build a bench” there?

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17 Comments

  • Alyce

    June 3, 2013 at 12:04 am Reply

    Oh Aprille, yes! I think every blogger has been there – after all, we blog because we want people to read!! I’ll share the technical/blogging side, as opposed to the spriritual/personal side of things, for a few things I’ve learnt along the way.

    When I started my new quilt blog, instead of focusing on the big picture and obsessing about the numbers, I focused on building content that people would want to come back to my blog for over and over again. I think it’s technically called “flagship content” – the stuff that readers love, Pin, share, use. For me, that means tutorials, tips and participating in community blog events like blog hops. It means making my blog easy to navigate, easy on the eyes.

    Focus on your writing. You have a beautiful blogging voice, great insights to share. Match that with good images that people can Pin and share, interacting with your readers and your blogging community, and learning about some of the technical side of things of blogging to help get your message out there. It takes time, it takes hard work, it takes passion and commitment and regularity.

    • Aprille

      June 3, 2013 at 12:35 pm Reply

      Thanks for the advice. I love the writing aspect but much of my life is just not that pinnable – and I’m okay with that. I do what I can and try not to worry about the rest. 🙂

  • jeanniere

    June 3, 2013 at 12:24 pm Reply

    I have always been content to be a no-name peon mom. I believe today as I always have that being the best mom I can be is the highest calling in life. And though in the eyes of many I have fallen far short of success, I can say with confidence that I have done my best. And therefore I am content.

    Prov 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

  • mustangsallypennylane

    June 3, 2013 at 2:03 pm Reply

    Oh gosh, you read my mind/ described my life. I’m praying for you, and me, and all of us sisters with our eyes and hearts that get stuck in the wrong place. Definitely sharing this with my readers.

  • cweinkam

    June 4, 2013 at 1:59 pm Reply

    I’m guilty of thinking about stats and growth more than I’d like, too. But, fortunately, I don’t have enough time to dwell on it too much (right now, at least!). My sisters and I just started our blog three months ago, and we hope to grow and make a name for ourselves, but I’m trying to be realistic about what we can take on right now and what will have to wait a few more months.

  • sjm

    June 4, 2013 at 4:16 pm Reply

    It’s funny, I’ve been inspired recently to write a post about how I’ll never be one of those big-name mommy bloggers. And I’m ok with that. When I first started my blog, I had all these grandiose visions of bringing moms together, brokering peace in the Mommy Wars, getting everyone to love each other regardless of their parenting choices. And what did I do? I barely wrote anything for 6 months because my heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t in a place to help others – I needed help myself. Once I realized that, and started writing about that, the posts started pouring out. Funny thing is, I really started to gain followers and get to know people that way, too. Keep using your honest voice and people will listen (read).

    • Aprille

      June 4, 2013 at 6:00 pm Reply

      Thank you so much for your encouragement. You say it so well. Grand ambitions of wanting to help and influence people! And those ambitions are well and good but sometimes God wants us to take another path or simply wait while He works His plans in HIS time! So for now I will keep writing honestly, plainly (and sometimes painfully) about my needs and how much I need HIM and let Him take care of the numbers. (Easy to say, sometimes hard to do, but it’s my goal and intention.)

  • Laura

    June 5, 2013 at 2:57 pm Reply

    Aprille, this post is so, so timely. I’ve been thinking about these things lately too, and ironically I just watched “Cars” earlier this week, so this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing your heart!

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