1. sjm

    Thank you for writing this! I, too, have struggled with those feelings lately. Keeping my one-week-shy-of-3 son home with me is what’s best for our family. But I did feel a little wistful, seeing all the cute first-day-of-school pics.

  2. heartsonguard

    Wonderful post today Aprille! We have our boy in preschool (he’ll be 4 next month), but I initially started him in a mom’s day out program when he was almost 3 just so I could have that time with the new baby. It was a God-send. But, it wasn’t free. And the preschool we have him in now is expensive, even with the military discount. It is a tough decision, and I wish we could have him home more and not have to spend 10 hrs/day in preschool and/or daycare. But life is what it is, and we do the best we can. 🙂

  3. Where’s your “like” button? 🙂 None of my kids went to preschool at 3. To me, sending them to pre-k at 4 years old was sufficient and enough preparation for school. They learned plenty at home plus I loved having my kids at 3 home with me. I know it’s cliche but God gives you the grace every moment of every day and even though it was a challenge to entertain a 3 year old all day long, it was also an opportunity to receive grace and joy. God bless you.

  4. We’ve always homeschooled our son… We get questions a lot when we’re out in the world during the day, “Oh is there no school today?” — Um, I don’t know, we homeschool. 😉

    No matter what people choose to do, there is always someone to make some kind of comment…

  5. Anonymous

    “It’s where God has us and it’s ok.”
    Love it! As the mom of a special needs 3 year old who just started homeschooling, I am always looking for a one-liner for people who get snarky with me when they find out our choice. I’ve been saying, “it’s a decision that is best for our family,” but ultimately it IS where God has us right now… And I wouldn’t change a thing! Thanks for the encouraging post… Sometimes, it feels like being the odd-mom out!

  6. Ah-HA! Another non-preschooling fam! Yup – Isaac’s not potty trained yet either – just not QUITE ready… And I can’t imagine finding a preschool that would take him pre-that. We may do preschool like 2 mornings a week at some point… but perfectly glad having him with me for now. 🙂 It’s where God has us – yup. Good to know we’re not alone. 🙂 (Shared this on FB – thanks so much for it!)

    • Ezra is pretty much pee-trained but not accident-free and still won’t tell people when he has to go. If you take him every 30-min to hour or so he will stay dry all day and is exclusively in underware. But he poos either first thing in the morning or at naptime and I’m at a loss as to how to train him to poop yet, so I haven’t even really tackled it recently and keep him in diapers for naptime and night-time! Most schools have a policy that they have to be completely potty trained and I have no idea when that will happen!

  7. Anonymous

    I’m a preschool teacher, and I applaud you! Kids are going to be in school for a LOT of years. Boys especially benefit from being able to run and play outside at will, instead of being in a classroom. There aren’t that many skills they will learn at 3 that they can’t pick up in a play group, in a Sunday school class, or just when they get to school in due time. Enjoy him and the wonder of a 3-year-old mind. You should be his primary teacher at this point in his life. I get so many whose parents haven’t even TRIED. “That’s what preschool is for…”

  8. I’ve felt that way so many times over the past few years. In my town and in my circle of friends, moms send their babies off to Mothers Day Out and then Preschool pretty early–some as infants and some as toddlers. By the time the kids are two, few children are at home with mom. And that’s fine–for them. Just not for me. I love having my babies at home, though every once in a while, I think that if I were like everyone else, I would only have one at home with me instead of three, and life would be so much easier. 🙂 Maybe so…but I know that this is what God has called me to, and that’s what gives me the grace to get through the tough days of juggling kids who are 4, 2, and 1.

  9. I read the title of this post and had to laugh. We’re not preschooling our four-year-old twins, either. 🙂 They get to do school at home with mama this year. We made that decision mostly for financial reasons, but I’m actually looking forward to it (mostly)! The nice thing about twins is that they have a built-in playmate. I’m vising you from Fellowship Fridays.

  10. “It can be anxiety-inducing to wonder if your kid is missing out on some special opportunity that could help him develop”…. the root of so many parents over-filling their older kids schedules and over-extending their budgets. to not miss out. and yet often, they begin to miss out on what matters even more. their family… their rest… sometimes even their god. ‘brava’ aprille for reminding us that sometimes it can be best to “miss out”. xoxo –kris

    • Thank you so much for sharing! You are so right! I try to keep activities to a minimum while still giving him a lot of time to play and interact with other children. Right now we do things twice a week (mommy Bible studies and groups) that have a very good childcare program where they do crafts and projects – and he also goes to childcare at the gym an hour or two a week, but that’s about it. And the occasional playdate! All the rest we do at home.

  11. Sarah (theGIRL)

    My almost four year old is also not in preschool….and neither my husband nor I went to preschool (Gasp!)

    This is truth:

    “But the reality is that we have made this choice. And it’s the best choice for our family, for our Ezra. It’s where God has us, and it’s okay.”

    • I went to preschool before Kindergarten but it was a very low-key program. I’d have to ask my mom but I think it only met like twice a week in the mornings. And it may have only been a summer program (I remember playing outside a lot and we lived in NE Ohio so it must have been summer!) And my Kindergarten was GASP! HALF DAY!

      And I think I turned out very well. 🙂

  12. halleebridgeman

    Societally, we are in such a hurry to rid ourselves of our children. ..often to the detriment of children. It’s preschool, not high school. There is NO benefit to sending a toddler away from home to “learn”. There’s no social, mental, nor emotional bonus to it. At 3, the social “needs” are met interacting with family.
    My children THRIVE in school, and my kindergartner reads at a 3rd grade level, does simple addition and subtraction in his head, leads in the classroom, and works well with others. Where was he at 3? Watching Barney while I vacuumed around his chair.
    I think our society is going to ultimately pay the price for the careless way we throw our kids at others for them to be taken care of and trained.


    • Strong comment, but it made me feel so much better. My son watches a lot of educational TV on Netflix and it’s a constant struggle not to feel guilty about it!

  13. Lovely Messes

    My first went to preschool but my second didn’t and both choices were right at the times I made them so I think you just need to do what’s best for your family. It’s yet to be seen what will happen when our baby girl is old enough. I think he’s perfectly fine with you at home!!

  14. karrileea

    Grace… I love that you extend it to both Mama’s out there… the ones WITH PreSchoolers and the ones without! Our girlie is in college now and at 3… there was just no. way. but at 4… well – she needed it and God opened up the right place… (She was so shy and wouldn’t use her words… she was/is an Only and needed the social interaction… it was hard on us both… but it was the best choice for us!) I love that you point out (and the other commenters here too) how it is a personal choice and we must choose what is best for our own family!

  15. You dealt with this topic very graciously, and I appreciated your honesty and encouragement to moms in all situations. Keep pressing on, motherhood is a tiring job, but has eternal value! Blessings to you and your family ..

  16. […] We have enrolled Ezra in a three-day a week, full day preschool program to give us some much needed whitespace and to give him interaction with other children and the ability to form relationships. I’ll be talking about this in an upcoming post because this was a very emotional decision for me. (I’d like to share some of my thoughts about it, especially when I was very vocal in an earlier post about how he wasn’t in preschool.) […]

  17. […] We have enrolled Ezra in a three-day a week, full day preschool program to give us some much needed whitespace and to give him interaction with other children and the ability to form relationships. I’ll be talking about this in an upcoming post because this was a very emotional decision for me. (I’d like to share some of my thoughts about it, especially when I was very vocal in an earlier post about how he wasn’t in preschool.) […]

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