Five Minute Fridays,  Marriage,  Personal and Spiritual Ramblings

Fight, make love…belong {Five Minute Friday}

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I yelled at him, then went back inside, slamming the door on the way.

Then I went up back to our bedroom and sent him a text message that said, “Sorry for yelling. Just really tired. Should have gone to bed earlier last night.”

It was 6:30AM and he wanted my help with the trash and all I wanted to do was to go back to bed.

We stayed up late – way too late – last night. Watching TV together, cuddling, being one. It was much needed. I kept seeing the time tick on but we needed this time. I knew the morning was going to be less than fun but I put those thoughts out of my mind and reveled in being with him and doing things we enjoy.

We talked about our sex life and why it’s okay we might do things different from other couples and why it works for us.

We watched a TV show where two couples got married. The one wrote vows in which they promised “to love each other, even when we hate each other.”

I think if more couples entered marriage saying vows like that, more couples would stay married.

For most of our married life, I’ve dreaded this 6 year mark. Because I’ve heard, or maybe there’s statistics or studies about how most marriages break up after seven years and that scared me.

But now that I’m here, at 6 years and change, I’m not worried.

We fight, sometimes we yell and slam doors…but sometimes we make love and it’s heavenly.

Sometimes we miscommunicate…but we also work really hard to change that and fight with each other and for each other for our voices to be heard. We sacrifice our fun time to sit in therapy offices because we know we are worth fixing these nuances that drive wedges between us.

I’m tired. And when I slammed that door my first thought was that we should have gone to bed on time and that all that time spent together wasn’t worth it.

But with a little perspective… (and maybe a cup of hot coffee)…

I can realize that those late nights, stolen moments, conversations – and dare I say, even the fights – they are all worth it.

He’s where I belong. I’m where he belongs. And that’s never gonna change.

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Linking up today with Lisa Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. Bloggers are given a writing prompt (topic) and told to write for five minutes. “No editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.” Today’s topic is “Belong.

4 Comments

  • ambercadenas

    Oh Aprille. I just want to say thank you for your brave honesty, for being real about your marriage. I, too, wrote about my husband for this prompt today, but not in the way I usually think of (or hear in other’s stories of marriage) when I think of “belonging” and love. Ours has not been an easy road of only 2 + years, and I dare say, I haven’t found many others who can relate to the depth of which this is so. And so I find comfort and hope and encouragement in your words, in your story, in your commitment to love even when you ‘hate’. It is a beautiful thing to behold what God can do in the midst of this kind of journey.

    • Aprille

      Amber…I am going to endeavor to find your post because I would love to read it. Thank you for a sweet comment and I’m so glad that my words were comforting and encouraging today. If this post at all resonated with you, I hope you will come back and spend some time here. I write a lot about marriage, especially the hard parts, the not so pretty parts, the less-than-amazing parts. http://beautifulinhistime.com/category/family/marriage/

  • Anita Ojeda

    You’ve done a wonderful job of describing marriage–it takes work–lots of it. Even after 25 years, my husband and I still work to communicate better, to face challenges together as a team, and to cheer each other on. We’re slow learners some times, but it’s so worth it. I wouldn’t want to belong to anyone else.

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