Love songs for the girl who needs to remember that God loves her
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I believe that faith grows stronger when it goes through doubt and crisis. I believe that it’s possible to question and wonder and doubt without it being rebellion against God. I believe that coming out on the other side of it with faith in tact is a beautiful thing.
(See also the stories of Peter and Thomas.)
A few weeks ago, I felt that crisis. I was giving into fears and past hurts. Everything was triggering to me. I felt like my hold on God was so weak, and I wondered if I could keep believing at all.
I did a lot of crying and freaking-the-crap out. I was being swept away and I didn’t know how to fight the current.
It took some writing, soul seeking, talking with a trusted friend, and finally my husband firmly guiding me into a place where I could not only express what was really going on, but also deal with it, before I was able to rise above the waters and come out of the crisis on the other side.
“You’ve gone through so many things where something you thought about God or relationships ended up being wrong, and it’s been hard and scary. And you’re afraid that it’s just going to keep happening and that you can’t believe anything,” was the loose paraphrase of what he said that finally got my attention.
Because yeah, that was it. Exactly that.
“You have to believe something. You have to start somewhere,” he admonished.
And as I sat there on the bed across from him with mascara-laden tears streaming down my face, the clarity was there, so strongly.
“I just don’t know how to really believe that God loves me.”
“Then that’s where you need to start,” he says. “Right now nothing else matters. Just focus on that.”
And so that night I laid in bed listening to music that reminded me that God loves me. Just letting the music pour over me. Letting go of the questions and the doubts and the pain because it’s just all too much for this weary mind and heart to handle.
The next morning I felt the urge to open my Bible. My old Bible…the KJV I won in a competition that walked with me during the years that I thought I was earning God’s love by reading it. I opened to Ephesians…I’m not really sure why.
And as I turned the first page, I found this note from one of my old friends from five years ago:
And in that moment I did. Even for the briefest moment I did, skipping over words that didn’t make sense or brought up questions and just focusing on the words of love in the book.
Last week, the encouragement just kept coming…this time from Katie:
“For now, you’re going to focus on God, that He is love and that He loves you, and just focus on that. To focus just on those three words, that God Is Love…It feels like such a huge concept, but in reality it is so simple. That He is pure love and desires to love us. And I wouldn’t even think about the part of you loving Him. I would just think about the part that He loves you. And not think about how you have to reciprocate that love and act on that love and follow a list. But just to focus on those three words and the fact that he loves YOU.”
I’ve been trying for a long time to start over, but just couldn’t seem to sort through the mess and confusion to find a starting place. Now I have it.
I’ve talked to enough of you who read my blog and know my story who have similar stories, similar struggles. So I know that you few, if only you few, get this. This post is for you.
Here’s my current song list. It’s been recently updated to include songs pertinent to our identity in Christ and what God thinks of us.
Beautiful, Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli
Before the Throne of God Above by Sovereign Grace Music
By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North
Drops in the Ocean by Hawk Nelson
Free To Be Me by Francesca Battistelli
Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin
Grace by Laura Story
He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli
He Will Not Let Go by Laura Story
How Can It Be by Lauren Daigle
How He Loves by David Crowder Band
I Can Just Be Me by Laura Story
Just Be Held by Casting Crowns
Loved by JJ Heller
Matter by For King and Country
Never Once by Matt Redman
Nothing Ever (Could Separate Us) by Citizen Way
Nothing That My Hands Can Do by Sovereign Grace Music
Oh the Deep, Deep Love by Sovereign Grace Music
One Thing Remains by Bethel Music & Brian Johnson
Open Up by The Brilliance
O My Soul, Arise by Sovereign Grace Music
You Never Let Go by Matt Redman
Your Love Never Fails by the Newsboys
You Say by Lauren Daigle
If you are an Amazon Prime subscriber, you can listen to all of these for free by using my curated Amazon Prime playlist:
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”
1 John 4:18
Readers, I would love to hear from you in the comments about your favorite songs that remind you how much God loves you!
16 Comments
Katie @ Wonderfully Made
Ok, my eyes are welling up with tears. This is beautiful.
Rhsikes
Here’s another one to add to your playlist.
Oh how he loves me by Rita Springer
Sara
I was feeling the exact same way the past few weeks. For me, it seems like my first step is stepping slowly back into church.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Deborah
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your precious heart and for your love song list. I have had thoughts of just being unworthy to have our great God of the universe love ‘me.. But he does, and worship songs help remind us, as does reading Bible verses and getting among trusted friends who experience God’s love
Anna Smit
Thank you for giving me the honor of sharing this post via my 31 Days post Love Writes Community. It is such a beautifully encouraging post, both in its vulnerable honesty and its testimony to God’s Love chasing after you and drawing you into His arms. Thank you for choosing to bless others through your story.
Aprille
You are so welcome!!
Anonymous Girl
I have never read your blog, and I never comment on anything. I love this post. Its hard to remember the creator loves you. Something that should be top priority just isn’t because of how the world is. Thanks for sharing this article. I’m pretty young and I need to hear that God loved me often because I get side tracked. The one song I always always go to when I dont feel loved or I feel totally completely alone is “loved” by fresh life worship its amazing and is absolutely one of the best ever. Best to you – love the anonymous girl
Aprille
Thank you so much for commenting. I’m glad that my words met you where you are! If you are on facebook, I would love for you to follow at https://www.facebook.com/beautifulmessyfaith/. Believe it or not, a HIGH percentage of our “fans” are teen and twenty-something females!
Sabrina
This is beautifully written! I completely understand the not even knowing where to start or how to believe. You put into words what so many of us feel, but have no idea how to express. I’m so glad I found this post tonight–two years after you wrote it!
Aprille
Sabrina – I’m glad this was helpful! I hope these songs bring you comfort.
Stephanie B
Ellie Holcomb has some songs you might want to check out.
Aprille
I’ll look into that – thanks!
Stephanie B
This site is truly a blessing. Thank you.
Aprille
You are so welcome. You can find more encouragement here: https://www.facebook.com/beautifulmessyfaith/
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