284 Comments

  1. Thank you. I’m in the newborn stage again (number 3) and while she’s been an easy baby, there are still days when I’m super tired. Grouchy. Stretched between three kids. So this is an encouraging reminder. 🙂

  2. Hey Aprille… I was looking through old posts on my blog today and found a comment you’d written. It blessed me then…. and today too. 🙂 So… here I am, popping over to check out your place. Loving it. Really related with this post and it’s funny – sounds like our boys are the same age. My guy’s 2 and a half as well.

    Blessings to you!

    • Hello Dana. I have loved your writing. I’m not a faithful follower (I have to be careful to limit the time I spend reading blogs or I get quickly overwhelmed), but I have read and shared many of your posts. If you ever need to chat about life as a mom of a 2 year old, I’m game!

  3. Very true! Oh I remember those days and still quite often have those days. Being so tired… And you’re not thinking straight yet the first thing you think is what a bad mom you must be. I hate that. Thank u for reminding us we are great moms and we will feel better once we’ve had some sleep

    • Even today is one of those days. I think I’m going to write a follow up post to this today about strategies to help. We shall see. Right now I’m still trying to wake up!

    • Annie

      hello, tiredness is so overwhelming but it is a good thing to identify it rather than not knowing why you are irritable, cranky with your kids and husband and just plain gloomy – cause then I guess, other things get blamed and targeted! I came across a website and found an e book of a woman’s experiences and her strategies of dealing with having twins, it really helped me, it is always nice to know that we are all in the same boat, and very normal! reflect and connect.com

  4. “Good mothers are the ones who worry about being good mothers” You are so right! We are hard on ourselves because we often hold ourselves to a perfect standard. My motto is if you child goes to bed feeling loved and safe you are doing a good job. Thank you for this great reminder to all of us tired mothers that we are in fact good.
    Found you on the Honest Voices Link Up. 🙂

  5. There is no tired like Mom Tired. Great reminder that we aren’t defined by our feelings, but by our actions. Good moms are often exhausted and don’t feel like being good moms, but they do it anyway.

  6. Xiomara | Equis Place

    Thank you for sharing those resources at the bottom and reminding women that they are still good mothers in spite of their exhaustion. It’s a well-known fact that anyone who is exhausted is going to be more stressed out and more irritable. It’s normal!

  7. Mamaintheburbs

    Great post. My DD is 3 but I too suffer from a chronic illness and can’t work. I’m exhausted all the I,e and suffer from depression. But I do my best and provide the best life possible for my daughter. She goes to preschool 2x a week and sometimes after dropping her off I climb back in bed. The rest of the week I’m busy taking her to gymnastics, horseback, swim and play dates. It’s hard being a mother and staying home is the toughest job ever. I’m glad I found your blog from the link up! I’m about to launch my new blog soon:) My best to you!!

  8. I wish you’d have been writing this when mine were little! It would have eased my mind on those days when I wondered whether I was a good mom or not. My youngest was just sworn in to the army on April 17. I wrote about meeting with the recruiter in my FMF ‘Here’ post.
    Blessings,
    Kimberly

  9. Maggie from Ms. Adventures in Mommyhood

    We can’t hear enough of this! Thanks so much for your honest sharing. I wish I had heard this during my 2 1/2 years of little sleep. Stopping by from the Honest Voices linkup. I blog about faith as well. 🙂 Looking forward to getting to know you better!

  10. I am not sure if you saw, but I featured your post at last Tuesday Baby link up. http://www.adventureswithcaptaindestructo.com/2013/05/tuesday-baby-link-up-week-29.html

    I relate to this post so much. Some days I am so tired between chasing my very active two year old and working full time that I feel like an awful mom. All he wants to do is chase bubbles, have wild dance parties, and play trucks. All I want to do is sit in exhaustion and stare at the wall. These tips were all very helpful to me. Thanks for linking up! Hope you will link up with us again this week.

  11. Arikka

    This was so refreshing and exactly what I needed today. When my son was born I had the visual of me glowing healthy in shape chasing my son around in some grassy meadow,organic homemade snacks,hands on mom with everything. Well my son is now 2 and I’m not in shape suffer mild depression exhausted all the time and I see a therapist LOL!!! Even though motherhood isnt always a grassy meadow there are many parts of motherhood I wouldn’t change for the world!!!

  12. Anonymous

    Hi Aprille! We’re featuring this post on our Saturday Pin It Party! You were the one with the most views 🙂 Awesome job!

  13. Katherine

    My aunt asked me once ” are you a good mother” my son was 2 at the time i hadn’t seen her in a long time. I said ” I hope so” with desperation in my voice. She said ” If your concerned about it that means your trying to be the best you can be which means you ARE a good MOM! I love this post, We moms can be so very hard on ourselves. I have 5 kids (11,7 1/2,6,3, 1) and I’ve exclusively nursed the last two yep. I’m tried. Yep my “hands are full”. But they are my babies and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d walk through fire for them, but chances are it’s to get a cup of coffee Lol.

  14. Kim Mohr-Grass

    once they sleep through the night, you stay up thinking something must be wrong. At first. Reprieve for a bit, then they are teenagers & you are awake listening for them to come home safely. Then, they go away to school & you keep your cell next to the bed & hope it doesn’t ring in the middle of the night. Love my kids, but do you EVER stop listening with one ear? I don’t think so. Hang in there Moms, it becomes a way of life, but they know you love them & are doing your best!

  15. Sue Miller

    I appreciate the perspective that mothers don’t tell each other often enough that we are doing a good job. But raising your voice at a child damages them. Despite being tired, we need to take a deep breath and choose NOT to raise our voice – in all situations. There is no excuse to grab and yell at a child.

    • I make those choices every day, but I’m not perfect. Yelling is never ideal and I’m not promoting yelling here on this site. But to say that it doesn’t happen (even with good moms) is naive. There are plenty of things which are far more damaging than raising your voice once in a while. Apologizing afterward with hugs and kisses is something I always make sure to do. I am in no way advocating a regular stream of yelling, emotional abuse, or physical abuse. There’s definitely a difference!

      • Carrie

        Absolutely right — it happens. Some days I feel like a really good mom, like I did everything right. More often there are days when I make mistakes for whatever reason… usually exhaustion and or frustration. This last week my husband was out of town on business. I’m pregnant and exhausted (with insomnia to boot). It was brutally hot outside. Today I took my daughter to school after making her a healthy breakfast, went to her school performance, took her on a play date that ended up with me babysitting her friend and a sibling for several hours, made dinner despite the heat and the fact that my grocery shopping trip was derailed by aforementioned babysitting, and then I raised my voice because I had had to tell her to wash her hands before dinner four times. A mostly good day, but one mistake and it made me feel like crap. I apologized and we talked about doing better listening (her), feeling frustrated (me) and using nice voices (me again). And then I fed her, gave her a bath, read her two stories, sang a lullaby and put her to bed. We all get tired and frustrated and sometimes act out. Part of how a child learns to deal with emotions… and mistakes… are from watching us. I think I mostly do okay, but we all have our moments where we are less than perfect. And, believe it or not, being less than perfect probably makes us better parents to our children and allow us opportunities to correct mistakes, apologize, and set examples for our children on what to do when they behave less than perfectly.

  16. Leah Westley

    Thank you so much for this, my one year old is now not a bad sleeper although the 1st 6/7 months were horrendous half the time I felt like my eyes were hanging out my head! I often asked myself why did I want this for myself? & can honestly say I don’t think I will be having another child I don’t think it would be fair on me & my husband or the child I’ve already got. I love her with all my heart & there are moments of happiness but its often over shadowed by stress, tiredness and sheer exhaustion, I don’t think there are enough hours in the day to be this Wonder Woman that I think I should be but you’ve made realise I am normal!!!

  17. Anonymous

    While I enjoyed your post, I reflect on the days of rearing my children and think of those nights and times of exhaustion, and realize that you didn’t mention: Cooking breakfast at 4:30 for the rest of the family while making lunches for the school aged and husband, cleaning up the kitchen then running to get ready for work and doing so in time to take the youngest to the baby sitter. Also you didn’t mention staying up late enough at night at night to help with home work and bible study, washing clothes for the family and preparing clothes for everyone for the next day. You didn’t mention the week ends you go to ball games with one while getting ready for sleepover so many times for another and preparing what part you could for Sunday dinner, study Sunday school lessons, get church clothes ready for the family, attend church on Sun. morning and night. Also, attend church on Wed. night and attend any group meetings during the week for yourself and the children. I know that all this sounds like I am complaining but I’m not, just the opposite. I thankful that God allowed me to have my children and have the strength to care for them. My children are all grown now with children of their own and my heart goes out to them and all parents, young and older, that loose sleep. But as you said, it’s all worth it and I wouldn’t have had I any other way. I guess this is just my way of saying that, no matter how big or little the things you do for your children are, you never regret it, so to all you mothers out there —hang in there—and God Bless.

  18. oda

    Thank you. That made me feel that im not worthless. You have given me strenght to continue being a mum, eve when it feels hopeless. Thank you

  19. Gerdi

    Wow.. Been up several times a night (like 10+ times) for more than a week, i have an 11 month old that’s teething.. This past two days im sitting at work like a zombie, wondering “what am i doing wrong”. Just this morning i was thinking im the worst mom ever for getting agry if my little one wakes up again and again each night.. Thanks for this post, it just made me realise im not alone, when im up tonight trying to get him back to sleep, somewhere, there’s someone doing exactly the same thing.

    • Gerdi: Can I just say how hard teething can be? Wow… I so know what it’s like. My son was a horrible teether, up multiple times a night as well and it’s SO draining!

      You aren’t doing anything wrong. Teething is just the worst.

      I’m not normally one to offer unsolicited advice, but we tried everything to help my son with teething – hylands, Amber teething necklaces, etc. NOTHING even came remotely closet to touching his pain except for Tylenol and Motrin. I’m not big on medicating kids but it was the only thing that helped our son. Just putting that out there. 🙂

  20. Ashlee

    So happy to have come across this. I have a 2 1/2 year old and you have mentioned everything that I have done at least once. Society, movies, and tv shows make you feel like a terrible mom bc they project unrealistic images of the mother who can do everything with ease and perfection… So it’s nice to hear from a real mother. Thank you for helping me regain a little of my sanity back!

  21. Leeann

    I read this and honestly i cried. To know i am not alone is something not many people can offer. I have 2 special needs boys. One who will be 1 this month (who still will not sleep through the night) and one who will be 3 this month. While i love and adore them i feel like i am just on autopilot from appointment, to therapy, to wherever else my schedule has for the day. To know i am not the only mom who feels like she is too tired to be a good parent is truly amazing. Thank you.

    • You are so welcome. While my son doesn’t have any special needs, I have been told he was “high-needs” and he didn’t sleep through the night until he was 19 months old. He is 3 now and I feel like I’m still recovering from the sleep deprivation. You are totally not alone!!!

  22. Amber

    I ended up wanting to do adoption once I had my son for a few weeks and no one would let me, making me feel like I bad person because I didn’t want to be a mom… now I am miserable. I love him, but he’s just turned 1 and I feel like I can’t go on much longer. I’ve considered suicide, but I just continue to live because I don’t think I could bring myself to leave him. I feel trapped, I guess some people are the rest of their lives. Thanks for writing this blog tho. Have a wonderful day.

    • Amber, I am not a professional but it sounds like you would benefit from professional counseling. I urge you to call a suicide hotline or professional counseling services in your area to get help ASAP!

  23. zara

    I know this post is old but I had to comment- Wow thanks I really needed to read this. I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant with number 3 and I’m crying as I rocked my just turned 17 month daughter off to sleep as she’s currently getting her molars (I hate these molars!!!!) She’s been a screamfest since Friday refusing to eat, sleepy, lively in the day just a nightmare at night. I know she can’t help it. I came across your page whilst surfing the net for any ideas & support. So once again thanks your message came through at the right time.

    • Zara: Molars are the worst! I’m convinced that most of my son’s sleep issues were teething related and he just. wouldn’t. sleep! Hang in there. You aren’t alone!

  24. I just ran across this article and I’m having a hard time not sitting here sobbing. Thank you. I’ve had a rough week and did actually scream practically in my 2 year old’s face the other day. I’m 26 weeks pregnant and not sleeping well. And for the last week off and on, neither was he. In fact the night before the screaming incident we were up from 3am-6am before I finally got him (and myself) back to sleep. And I did sit on the floor holding him in my arms sobbing into his hair telling him I was sorry for being so mean. I felt like a terrible mother. So thank you again for reminding me that no one is perfect and I’m not a failure.

    • Aw Aubrey, that’s just. so. tough. I haven’t been pregnant while mothering a toddler, but I’ve heard it’s rough. So I can imagine that you are sooooo beyond exhausted, especially if your little one isn’t sleeping. I am SO GLAD that you found this post and that it met you right in this place where you are. You sound like a fabulous mother, really, I mean that. Praying rest and peace for you, right now, and that your son sleeps well for you tonight!

  25. My kids are now 16 & 18 and I can remember so well this time of their lives – it’s SO hard when you aren’t getting any sleep. All I can say is that it will get better, eventually they’ll sleep a lot more and you’ll be able to sleep a lot more than you are right now. Hang in there, I feel for you!! And yes, you ARE a very good mother. xoxo

  26. Paulette Stanford

    I happened upon this blog through doing a Google search of, “I’m too tired to be a mom today”, while hiding in my bedroom for a 5 minute breather from my 1 and 5 year olds, while the t.v. watched them. Reading the posts, I found myself in tears. Today, I really needed to see that SOMEONE gets it. It’s like I was seeing the feelings in my heart right on the screen. Thank you for this.

    • Paulette, thanks so much for commenting. You are actually one of the first Google searchers to actually leave a comment and I’m SO GLAD that you did. My space is for you. This post is for you. And yes, someone DOES get it!

  27. Anonymous

    this is great !!!!! but then i remember my parents getting mad at me because i never wanted to wake up for things as a teeen then it was a fight about waking up in the mornng ! lol ! it will change eventually !!!

  28. Tiffany

    I know I’m not the first, nor shall I be the last person to thank you,but truly I still want to thank you… I’m a new mom to a 9 month old son who’s teething and constantly shoot out watery poo in the middle of the night…
    I had to stay strong while working a full time job too, and even once I’m at home, I hardly could rest as there’s so much chores to catch up to. It made me exhausted but worst of all, feeling like I’m hopeless and selfish for trying to nap when I have the chance. Society simply frowns upon people who nap even when its lunchtime…
    Worst of all, sometimes I have brief regretful thoughts about why I let this happen to me, since I was accidentally pregnant and then our families literally rushed to help us prepare for my wedding/marriage… Sometimes I regret getting myself pregnant when I’m clueless about babies, heck before my son, I didn’t even get to hold babies before… So all the more I felt like I’m inadequate and maybe someone else could do better than me…

    I also suffer from depression since childhood so these sleepless nights didn’t help at all, and I miss my family, my old life, since after my marriage my new house is far away from my parent’s house… I get stress from my demanding and controlling in-laws too, who keeps telling me that when my baby has diaper rashes or just wears clothes of the wrong sizes I’m a pathetic mom…

    • I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have good support from your in-laws and that depression is a factor. That’s tough. I’m glad that you found encouragement here.

  29. danielle

    Thankyou. I have 3 kids under 5 and i am so so exhausted. This made me feel a bit less guilty of being so tired.

  30. priyNka

    stumbled upon this post while searching for “tired moms” on google

    .. and i m just tooooo tired to read it in full Zzzzzzz…..

  31. Norilen

    Thank you! I am really encouraged by this. It means a lot to me that someone is also going through the same thing I am. We are residing abroad with no relatives nearby; my husband has a crazy schedule at work so most of the time it’s just me and my son at home. Not to mention I work full time and so exhaustion is something I experience on a daily basis. I don’t have a lot of mom friends, so I don’t have someone to talk to about my feelings, someone who understands what I’m going through. I dont think my husband also understands.. I don’t think I also understand, one day I’m happy to be with my son and one moment I wish I have some time alone.. But this.. Is exactly what I needed to here. You have encouraged me a lot. Thank you for this you have no idea how you have helped me with this. God bless you.

  32. Megan

    VThank you for posting this! My husband is currently deployed and I am caring for our two year old and four month old. I find myself feeling guilty for the amount of TV that the toddler watches or the messiness of the house. This was very encouraging for me! 🙂

  33. Maritza

    Thank YOU!!! I had my first child at 22 and now at 40! i have beautiful 2 year old boy. IT IS SO HARD To find the energy to play with him when we get home or to NOT snap at him when he cries in the middle of the night. I know it will pass, ive been here before .. but i DO NOT remember it being this hard. Im tired ALL THE TIME… i feel like im not being the best mom i can be. I feel guilty for counting down the minutes to bed time, so that i can sit with a glass of wine and just stare blankley at the tv (if i do not fall asleep first). I feel guilty for having him so late in life. I had so much energy with my first, and now i worry that when im 50 i will have NO ENERGY at all for our 12 year old … I just really really want to be the best mommy .. the one he deserves. I JUST FEEL SOOOO TIRED.. ughh.. reading your blog helped.. thank you (luna456m@yahoo.com)

    Maritza
    Miami, FL

    • Kerry

      Thank you so much for writing this. I am sitting here crying right now because everything you said made me feel like I am not crazy and that things will get easier. Half the time I feel like I am walking around in a fog and am on auto -pilot just trying to make it to the end of the day so hopefully I can get some sleep and function the next day. I rarely get time to myself, probably much like every other mom out there, but its good to hear others go through this too so we know we are not alone. THANK YOU!! No one can prepare you for how tough it really is to be a good mom.

    • Anonymous

      I’m 46 with a 6 year old and I hear you loud and clear. I struggle with being exhausted by the end of the day and I end up with mommy guilt thinking he deserves to have a mommy that’s not so darned tired…ugh.

  34. swandra spencer

    Thank God for you!!! This page alone uplifted my spirits my child refuses to sleep in for me and wakes up early every day plus I have hard time sleeping I am going through terrible 3s and talking back she is a sponge and she is a handful she is at a level 10 all day everyday yet I am still trying to process the night before. Today I barely have the strength to do anything(health reasons) it is so hard it really does take a village to raise a child but in the real world the village is the mother we are everybody’s everything it is hard days I want to throw it all away and give it up other days I am content its hard I thank you for uplifting my spirits

    • Anonymous

      I know where your coming from….there are days i feel like I’m on top of everything….like its not so bad. There are days where i feel overwhelmed and over tired. I feel like the weight of my families world lay on me and no amount of coffee can lift me up. I hope your having a beret day today. I agree this blog made me feel validated and like it’s ok.. I’m not alone… Hugs to you!

  35. Alexis

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really needed to read this. I have a 3yr. old & a 1yr. old. It’s nice to know I’m not the only mom feeling this way & thinking these thoughts! I feel a little better.

  36. Nattie

    Thank you. I just read this… I have a 2 year old going through tantrums and speech delay, and I’m so tired and sad to play with her. This post made me cry hard.

    • I was just thinking lately that I’ve been so tired and overwhelmed I haven’t been able to bring myself to play with my son as I should. You are not alone.

  37. Anonymous

    GOODNESS! I AM TRULY GRETEFUl I ALMOST LOST MY SANITY I TRULY RELATE TO THIS ITS MADNESS TO RAISE CHILDREN….AV GOT A 3YR OLD N 9 MONTH SOMETIMES I JUST WISH FOR JUSTA 5 MINUTES BREAK…….GOODNESS! I DINT HAVE A GOOD GRASP OF WAT MOTHERING IS UNTIL NOW….

    • MommyLee

      Thank you for that uplifting! I was at a moment and completely lost control over myself because my 2 1/2 year old just wont eat her food, She says “NO” to me a lot, which I insist on being consistent to tell her she is not supposed to talk to me like that, I try encouraging her by putting cartoons (so she can eat, or be entertained so i can clean-up) and I do my very best to make sure I spend enough time with her because, play with her ect. I am 7 1/2 months pregnant right now and so exhausted, I have been feeling very moody and Praying so much for God to help me to have self-control over my attitude and actions, but I do know that His grace is with us and working on me through this challenge. Agai n thank you for your uplifting. God bless you.

  38. Emma

    Thank you. I am a mother or a two year old and I have M.E and still work full time. I am currently sat thinking I should stop her watching tv but she is still and happy and I really don’t know if I have the energy for anything else.

  39. Essie

    Hi there, I just wanted to leave a comment to say how touched I was by this post. I came across the post whilst searching for strategies for coping with the exhaustion that comes with motherhood. I am a single, full-time working (shift work with extremely varying and often unsocial hours) mum. I sometimes don’t get back from work until 1 in the morning and then my son wakes me up at 6am, I look after him until it is time to go back to work again and do it all over again. I really do feel completely burnt out! My own mum tells me that this is completely normal to be feeling this way but I don’t know a lot of other mums so to see posts like this is really comforting and makes me feel like I’m really not going insane! I often feel so guilty for sticking my child’s favourite TV show on and attempting to doze off under a blanket (every so often being asked to fetch a drink from the kitchen, or breakfast, or fix a toy… and then hiding under the blanket again). When the health visitor came to visit for my son’s two and a half year check-up, I told her how tired I was and she told me to go see a doctor because it may be an indicator of depression. I can honestly say though, I have never felt happier (it’s been a tough couple of years), it really is just sheer exhaustion. It really is good to know that I am not the only one going through this 🙂

  40. Jessie

    Thank God I found this when googling. I am feeling that way right now..feels so tired and exhausted. Thank u for making me feel i’m not alone. I really think i need holiday or something without the kids but it’s impossible. Urghhh i feel so tired that make me no energy in day time and making me shouted and have a bad mood feeling..

  41. Sarah

    Thank you for your words! You will never know how much they helped me. I have been up every hour with rotating sick kids. I cried out to God for help because I felt I couldn’t do it (going on day 3). I was rocking my 5 month old back to sleep and I googled the words tired mom. I don’t consider it an accident I know it was divine intervention. He knew I needed to read your words and needed to know this to shall pass, also that there are others who are struggling to and I am not alone. Thank from the bottom of my grateful heart.

  42. Chandra

    I appreciate your honesty in this post so much. The words you wrote so long ago are an encouragement to me today. I have 4 children: 4, 3, 1 and 7 weeks. I am EXHAUSTED! I think about the person that I used to be before children. The women with the makeup, a career and lots of sleep. Today as I made paper hats and held a fussy baby I have tried to remember that this is the life God called me to. Thank you for reminding me that 1 Timothy 6:6 is the person I want to be. “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

  43. Bernadette

    Thanks! I needed that today. I’m a FTM and my baby is 4 weeks old. He’s gorgeous and I’m tired! My husband has also started with “why are you cranky all the time?” And ” you knew it was going to be hard!” He’s normally more supportive. Our whole dynamic has changed and all I can think is that I should be happier but I’m just too tired! Thank you for your words that made me feel a little less guilty and alone.

  44. Mommy of 3

    Thank you for sharing! As I’m typing this, my 2 yr old is crying mommy! So I can hold him and rock him to sleep at 9:51pm. Haven’t ate or showered because I was busy helping my 7 yr old with his homework, while 2 and 3 yr old boys are running and tossing things around for me to clean. Then it’s dinner and then bath and of course they can’t sleep unless mommy is laying next to them. I’m exhausted and emotionally drained! I’m tired of juggling with work full time and being a mother of 3. And most men do not help that’s why so many mothers decides to be single. It’s hard especially when you don’t have enough support system.

  45. First time mom

    I’m so glad I’m not alone. My baby is 6 months old and not sleeping through the night. Were breastfeeding and doing everything “right”. We’re trying the attachment parenting thing but struggle with how gentle it seems lol and how we always get the same answers…it will, pass or your babies are young it’s okay they wake up 4x because they need you yadyyadyyady. we’ve tried sleep training and not nursing and the list goes on. He needs to be rocked and bounced and patted on the bum. He often needs to be nursed to sleep and the will only sleep for 45 mins to 2 hrs at time and at night rarely sleeps longer than 3 hrs stretch.
    My husband says well you wanted this… Yes thanks I know I did , we did and we need to do this together. I struggle with finding the balance of being a good momm good wife and keeping me me all at the same time. I’m so exhausted there are days where I’m dreading naps and then bedtime before we even get out of bed… But then there are also great moments in those days that bring me back to why being a mommy is such a great thing and I couldn’t imagine my life any different. What a struggle, a challenge and truly life changing event. It’s not only snuggles and kisses, it’s everything else people don’t tell you about or the behind the scenes stuff that you are left to find out on your own and deal with on your own cos god forbid you ask for help and get the snarky responses and the talk behind your back about how hard you have it or you brought it upon your self talk… Sigh 🙂 smiles though cos we do love our kiddos xo sorry for the ramble 🙂

  46. Diane

    I have four boys (two teens and two toddlers) and I am nearly always extremely tired. This article told me things I already knew, but needed to hear anyway. I cried; I know I’m not the only one. I know my kids think I’m a great mom, and I am truly blessed with the best teenagers on the planet. They help me out with no complaint on most days… but when they can tell I’m having a better day, they are quick to ‘take the day off’ and I’m happy to give it. When you are open and honest with your kids about your struggles, I think they grow up a lot more compassionate. So, I agree, don’t worry so much about being too tired. Just do your best and your kid(s) will love you for it.

    • That’s quite the age ago and I’m sure brings a lot of challenges, but awesome that they are understanding and try to help. I hope you will read through the comments…you are definitely not alone!!

  47. Anonymous

    what you wrote about being tired is so true, being a single parent of three and widowed to boot, I agree, a person can get so tired that everything becomes a blur, needless to say even the most simplest tasks become overwhelming, I do not wish to offend mothers or take away from anything they are going through, but I am a male, and I will be the first to admit that I was clueless until my wife died and had to be mommy and daddy or better put a single parent , hopefully the knowledge that you are not alone will give parents male or female some comfort

    • My sincerest condolences for your loss. I can’t even imagine what single dads have to go through! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your much-needed and much appreciated perspective!

  48. Zina

    im in tears..your words have hugged me..i have an 18 months old boy who can’t fall asleep unless he pulled my hair, i’ll say no more ..u already know it all!, from the deepest part of my heart ..i thank you ..

  49. aerica

    I’m so happy I stumbled across this post I’m at a breaking point maybe more like a snapping point I can be the best mommy one minute but when things get stressful like when it’s 7pm and I just got off of a 12 hour shift my kids need a bath I have to make dinner and even though I forgot I promised my 2 year old we would make cupcakes she hasn’t and has reminded me 20 times in the last hour and my 2 month old who fights his sleep every night for three hours I seriously feel like I’m going to snap and I just want cry but it won’t come out ….. and then I wonder why did I buy a small bottle of wine ….

    • Deep breaths. Deep breaths. No, seriously. Sometimes in those moments all you can do is BREATHE and do the thing right in front of you! You can get through this!

  50. Anonymous

    Thank you. Its nice to read this when I feel like I do. I’m sick of feeling like I should harden up. So thank you.

  51. Angie

    I needed this today. I have learned to let loose on some things. Even if it means he gets a nap while I watch Judge Judy, and I know what you mean about the meals!

  52. Claudia arroyo

    I loved your article! Most of the time I feel like I’m a horrible mom because I’m too tired to even play with my 2 year old. I thank God everyday for giving me the blessing to become a mother but there’s times where I wish I would of waited a little longer and prepare myself both mentally and physically before having a child but we all know that never happens, no one is an expert at parenthood. Honestly I feel like my marriage is falling apart because I’m always in a bad mood due to the lack of sleep or that I have to be up at the crack of dawn to attend my child. I have to add that my husband is in the military and so he is gone all the time so I pretty much do everything on my own and knowing that makes me really proud of myself but at the same time makes me upset and angry at my husband for not being here helping me out. I don’t know what to do anymore, I love my child as I love my husband and I really want my marriage to work and I want to give my child the family that she deserves but at the same time I know that the feeling of being so tired and overwhelmed is going to ruin it all, what should I do? I need help..

    • Claudia, first of all – take a lot of deep breaths. With your husband being military, are you near a military installation? I started utilizing the hourly on-post daycare through the CDC (Child Development Center) on Fort Knox. It was amazing because as long as I called ahead, I could really take him anytime the center was open for a minimum of 2 hours. Those were sanity breaks, sometimes even sleep breaks. Sometimes, I would meet my husband on post for lunch during those times, or for marriage counseling (also free through the military installation) which helped our marriage. Please let me know if you are near a base or post and I’ll try to help you find some resources!!

      If not, you could also Google “hourly drop in daycare” and your city and see what comes up. Check if you have a local MOPS group as well. That won’t help with the sleep as much, but could get you some extra support. Local churches, YMCAs, and gymnastics clubs will also often have regularly scheduled “Moms Day Out” “Parents Morning Out” “Mothers Morning Out” “Parents Night Out” programs. Even if you aren’t a member, they will often be open to the community for a minimal cost. Start Googling and see what you can come up with!

  53. Anonymous

    This post was just what I needed. My 2 month old is not sleeping and wants to nurse 24hrs a day. I find myself begging her for a nap but she dosnt care. I feel terrible because she’s probably bored but I’m so tired. I absolutely hate it when people tell me that this is the best time and don’t miss anything. Just makes me cry more because I’m too tired and feel like I’ll miss everything

    • That 2-4 month age is exceptionally hard because they are growing so rapidly (lots of nursing), old enough to start wanting more from their surroundings (boredom) but not big enough to really do anything about it. If it’s even remotely warm where you are, I would bundle up and take baby on a walk/stroller ride until she falls asleep. It will give you an energy boost. Then bring the stroller into the house and let her sleep there for a bit while you rest on the couch or something. Car rides can do the same but a walk can actually give you an energy boost too.

  54. Lauren

    This was exactly what I was subconsciously searching for. I’m 39 weeks pregnant and have a 10 month old who has- in the last month- gone from being sitting, stationary and calm, to a crawler, stair climber, constant carpet fuzz eater. She doesn’t sleep well through the night if it isn’t a full 75 degrees in her room and my husband and I cannot stand to be hot. We are also not working with a budget that allows us to heat our house just for her room. So it’s up at 5 am. Then again at 6. Then again at 7.
    Anyway- it’s hard. It’s become a fear that once our newborn arrives (next week!) I won’t even feel alive because I will be such a zombie. Everyone has told me all along that I am so brave for having my children back to back, and I’ve thought “How hard can it be? I feel like I’m a good mom… What’s one more?”
    Your article has reminded me once again of what my husband has been saying all along. I can do this. I AM a good mom, and being tired will evolve and change. I will also become more able to help others who are anxious, moody, and just plain sick of being tired while having so much joy right in front of them. So I thank you again for writing this and reminding everyone that it’s okay to use what works and keep yourself sane sometimes.

  55. Blaire

    I feel much better now after reading this! Today I had my mother take my 5 year old son for the day (who I homeschool so I’m always with) and then I swaddled my newborn, stuck a paci in her mouth (even though she prefers sucking on my boob all day and night) and put her in the swing with the sound machine on high. This was in HOPE that I can lay in bed a few hours! All I want to do is surf the Internet, drink my coffee in silence and stay in my pajamas and actually hear the rain falling outside. I DID feel guilty BUT after I read this I realized I deserve this! Thank you!!!!

  56. Heather

    thank you, with the utmost sincerity! Had my son when I was 31, and was 4 years into dealing with and maintaining fibromyalgia and bipolar disorder.
    He’s 3 1/2 now, and I’ve made it through without any major problems, but that doesn’t mean it was easy. Feeling the guilt, regret, and sadness of how i perceive myself as a mother at times is so isolating. I don’t talk to anyone about it, for fear of judgement, so the only perspective I have is my own. Just this one post means so much to me, so thank you, it is very brave, and very much appreciated!

    Heather

  57. Anonymous

    I feel so at peace when I came across this post.. I literally feel like I read it at the perfect time. Being a mother/wife/college-senior is not easy at all. This year has been one of the happiest of my life since my son was born in April, but the stress is just so much I didin’t know if I was doing the right thing. I felt like such a bad mom for not being able to play with my son during the day like he wishes too and not getting dressed up when we go to family gatherings with my husband. I can really relate to this, and I am so thankful you wrote about it because I was on the verge of loosing it. I really do hope to see that light at the end of the tunnel soon.
    Blessings to all the moms and their children! XOXO Priscilla F

  58. Julie

    Your post is so appreciated. I have an 18 and 20 year old that are now moving forward into their adult lives. My husband and I adopted our 1 and 2 year old foster children earlier this year and, after 7 years of miscarriages, my husband and I found out 2 weeks before our adoption was finalized that we were pregnant with our beautiful daughter who is now almost 4 months old. On top of that, my husband has been deployed for 3 1/2 months with many more months to go. Needless to say, I am exhausted! Breastfeeding is time consuming all by itself, but making sure I have enough energy for my toddlers also is a challenge. I am not 20 anymore. Having little ones at 42 has been an eye opener. I can relate to every point made in this post and often cry thinking I’m a horrible mommy. So thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Hang in there Mamas……..we will all get through this and our children will remind us everyday WHY the minute they look up with that sweet smile and a kiss to make it all better:)

  59. Anonymous

    I just typed “I’m so sick of all the crap on the internet about child rearing” and I’m so glad I did because I found this post!! Seems like every time I get on the internet it’s telling me I’m a horrible mother for leaving the TV on for background noise, letting my baby occasionally sleep with me and MANY other things that I already feel guilty for on my own! It causes me sooo much anxiety! But this post made me feel soooo much better, I actually cried after reading it, so THANK YOU! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who isn’t perfect 😉

    • LOL oh I’ve had those moments too. I think that the internet, in a lot of ways, makes it a lot harder to be a parent. I try to be a voice of reason out there amidst all of the guilt messages! I’m glad you landed here!

  60. Anonymous

    Out of frustration I just typed ” I am sick of all the crap on the internet about child-rearing” into my search box and I’m so glad I did because it lead me to this post!

    In my searches for advice about everything baby the internet is constantly telling me I’m a horrible mother for things that I already feel guilty about, it is all so anxiety inducing! But you touched base on so many of those things in the post and I want to say THANK YOU.
    I REALLY needed that, I actually cried after reading it, It’s nice to know others feel the same.

  61. Jodi

    Aprille,
    This has been said many times in others’ posts, but this is just what I needed today. As women, and mothers, we have the opportunity to influence so many and it is our responsibility to ultimately bring the world closer to God. Thank you for this – I hope you feel supported on your tough days and remember that you’re an amazing mother as well!

    Take care,
    Jodi

  62. Heather

    Thanks for this post. Sometimes we don’t hear these words from those around us, so it is nice to read them. Especially, after an exhausting day.

  63. Rachael

    This made me feel so much better. My husband has been gone for 8 months, and i am so tired every day i just want to cry, and i’ve been feeling horrible about doing exactly what you describedin the mornings (tv, banana,and an extra half hour of shut eye). Especially since ive been staying with my parents and i hear my mom every morning going “why doesnt she just get up already.”

  64. lizzy

    I’m a new mom to a 6 week old. I am so exhausted its not even funny. I had a legitamite breakdown last week and HAD to hire a night nanny becuse my husband is in professional school and really just can’t help. Even after a night nanny coming two nights a week I’m still exhausted. The kid just cries and fusses ALL DAY LONG. Mentally its so fatiguing. I often wish I would NOT have gotten pregnan (I love him but i would be lying if I said I enjoy his company right now). Its so sad that motherhood is so hard and unenjoyable. I feel like back in the olden days mothers had more help from grandmas, in-laws, sisters, neices….. Because everyone lived near each other. Now moms are so damn isolated we can’t enjoy our kiddos becuause we have no body to lean on. I know for certain I will not be reproducing anymore…. And the comment section of this blog has pretty much solidified that for me. If It doesn’t get better until the kid is like 4-5….. Ugh. That’s so depressing. No thank you on more babies. If husband wants more he will have to find another uterus.

    • Lizzy, the first few months are so hard. Hang in there. Even though there are still sleepless nights with my child at age four, they come a lot less often. Your outlook might change in the future! Consider looking into postpartum counseling…it really might help you process some of your emotions right now.

  65. Tired

    I’m tired today
    of having to play
    the same role everyday

    I can’t explain
    but all this pain
    is pushing me away

    I want to hide
    can’t bear to fight
    you don’t understand

    I put on a smile
    it lasts for a while
    then I hide again

    I lost my dreams
    and so it seems
    I’ll never get them back

    The day is bright
    but all I see inside
    is black

    Don’t want to hear
    just for the fear
    I’ll be made guilty

    It’s just a phase
    It’s temporary
    All that I heard before

    Don’t you want to do this for us
    We are worth it
    The guilt comes back

    My list for the day
    makes me feel pathetic
    when its highlight is clipping some nails

    I’m tired
    I’m sick
    I feel guilty all the time

    I feel angry
    at him
    at me
    at all that surrounds me

    Poor resolve
    to get control
    of the life ahead of me

    I then get busy
    with mundane tasks
    I loose my resolve
    I wish for the past

      • Kayla

        Hi there, it’s nice to see all these comforting posts on here. I have a 4 year old and 2 year old boys and they are so energetic! I try to keep up with them and try to be a great mum but some days (like today) I am so exhausted. Our 2 1/2 year old was up 5 times last night and I’m finding it a struggle to get ready today. I am going to make it easy for myself today with easy meals and TV! Luckily it’s a nice day today so my kids can enjoy the great outdoors in my little garden while I sit and watch! xxx

        • Sounds like you are really on top of what you need today. I have so been there with the nightwaking (he’s 4 1/2 now and still wakes up once a night every once in a while). TV and easy meals and making the boys play outside sounds perfect. Hope you can get some coffee (or your comfy drink of choice) and some rest for yourself too!

  66. Anonymous

    Yes!!!! Thanks so much I will write more but I am sooooo tired f’ k the people that tell u that u r not a good mom my boyfriend told me I zm not a bad mother , I am stupid mother he called me stupid it is ok I am ok thanks again for the post love,natalya

  67. You have moved me to tears. I beat myself up day in and day out wondering if I’m doing right by my child. I do my best to give her what she deserves…..the very best. I try to educate her , feed her nutritious food, and play with her, and discipline in a gentle and loving manor. But in all honesty, I’m just so physically and mentally exhausted! I feel horrible for taking naps during the day. Again thank you for your kind words of encouragement.

    With much love and blessing

    Xoxo

  68. Jane

    What a great post! I can’t agree more!
    I am a mother of a 9 months old boy and I am beyond exhausted! Spot on all those things such as feeling guilty of letting my child watching TV who is under 2(!!), too tired to cook (poor hubby!!),…….too tired for anything!
    And I consider myself very lucky as my son has never been a crying baby! But very active and energetic though 🙂 I should have had children in my twenties (lol) – I’m 30 and I am too tired.

  69. Sam

    Hi there. It has been two years since this post but I found it during this moment of doubt and inability to think clearly, and truly appreciated your candid words.
    Thanks for being a mother who encourages others with honesty. Sometimes it helps to just know there are others in a similar boat, cheering one another on:)

  70. Briquenne Williams

    Whew. I’m a new mom of a 4 month old son that used to sleep perfectly through the night and be so happy to see his mom. Lately, I’ve had to deal with him waking up multiple times through the night, staying awake at 5AM, and my hubby’s depression aswell as my own. It’s tough, so tough, being the bright becan for them, and honestly sometimes I stay silent because I just can’t deal with things. It’s nice to know I’m not a terrible person for that, and honestly, reading this post left me in tears. Happy ones of course! Like a sigh of relief!
    Thank you!

  71. Samantha Cruise

    I really needed to read this today. I have a 5 year old step daughter. A 2 year old daughter. And I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am at the stage to where I am so big in my pregnancy I am uncomfortable an can’t sleep at night. After tossing and turning ALL night and having to wake up at 5 am to get husband off to work I laid down to catch an hour of sleep and as soon as my head hit the pillow my 2 year old woke up. Now so has the 5 year old. I am so tired I just want to cry. I have them both in the bed with me watching cartoons. Content at the moment but I know it won’t last. Your post defined how I feel to the t. Thanks for words of encouragement!

    • Sounds like you are doing the best you can. Lying down and letting them watch cartoons is all you can do sometimes. And it’s okay. Really it is.

  72. Amie

    I am so glad I found this post. I have 2 step kids ages 10 and 12 and a toddler who is 19 months (and throws tantrums all day regularly) and I babysit my neice who is 6 months old and screams all day long. My husband rarely helps me. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to help me. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, baths, brush teeth etc. I’m so exhausted and I have no time to do things with my son like take him to the park or anything. I let him watch TV and do whatever I can to keep him happy and keep my neice asleep. I don’t sleep at night and haven’t for a very long time. I have fibromyalgia and I hurt all day but get no help. Reading this post made me feel so much better. Thank you.

  73. ingrid

    This made me cry. It’s mothers day and I am a mum of three little ones. We have just moved from interstate, Mt husband is away for work and I have no mum (she has passed) to celebrate with. My beautiful babies picked out their little presents to give to me, helped make pancakes and made me a cup of tea. All not which involved so much cleaning up but warmed my heart so much. I have finally got them to bed (they are 5,2 & 8 months) and felt relieved they had gone to bed then got the guilt feeling like my children are amazing despite me rather than because of me but your post gave me a moment to just feel like maybe I’m not a bad mum and maybe I’m allowed to be exhausted and snappy sometimes. Maybe I don’t always need to feel like I’m failing them because the fact that I ask these questions and care enough me and I’m still doing OK. And maybe one day when I’m not so tired the day to day things will feel easier. I wouldn’t give my little miracles back for the world and I know I’m one very lucky mum.

    • I think it’s very normal to feel relief at bed time. I know I do at most nights. Check on them when they are sleeping and your heart will melt but man…sometimes that hour before bed is so touch and it’s so nice to get a minute to breathe! It sounds like you are a great mom.

  74. angel lamb

    Reaching my wit’s end late last night, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe just going to sleep would get me out of it and I could start fresh in the morning forgetting all about my sudden moodiness. My morning was alright, but it all came back even worse this afternoon during our 5 year olds art lesson. Coupled with my acne outbreak, I was forced to look up “moody tired acne” in a google search. This was my final solution after crying to several read aloud videos online that our 5, 4 and 2 year old fought over the ENTIRE time. I’m known for my sensitive nature, but this is ridiculous…maybe there’s something wrong with me. My hormones have never been regular, so I never know when it’s going to strike. Your blog caught my attention. I read it and I got to “Good moms are the moms that worry about being good moms”. Oh, I broke down and had to cry. I needed to hear your stories. Thank you soo much! I think some Matthew will help as well 🙂

    • Sounds like you are really really stressed. Hope you can find some time to take some deep breaths, and maybe search for “guided relaxation” videos on youtube!

  75. ciara

    Thank You.
    I Have a two and a half year old and a 7 month old work full time and im 5 months pregnant did i mention im planning my wedding for 9 months time ….and being 21 is not easy but definitley not boring. good to know im not the only one! everyone else seem to make it look easy and they just everything together !

  76. I love this so much!! Thank you for sharing your feelings on this and for encouraging and uplifting those of us who are going through the same thing. It feels good to know I’m not alone in the sleep deprivation boat. It seems all my friends with babies get to sleep through the night and have bounds of energy and always look cute and work out and have normal lives and it makes me feel a bit better about myself each time I hear I’m not the only one that is in survival mode right now.

  77. Leaha

    Thank you for this!! I am a mom to three soon to be four kids under the age of four. There have been SO many days I just want to pack it in and throw in the towel. But at the end of the day and most days after much tears and heart aches. I keep holding on to the fact that it will all eventually pass and make way for new challenges! It is ALWAYS such a relief to know I am not the only one who snaps, yells, cries, hides in corners to get small cat naps while the kids watch “one more” episode of whatever, it’s nice to know I am not alone in the struggling. So thank you for your words and encouragement!! Good moms-great moms worry about being great moms! Beautiful ❤️❤️

  78. Stacie

    Single mom of three. Recently discharged from my job due to budget cuts. So tired emotionally and physically all the time. I just want to crawl in a hole.

  79. Gemma

    Thanks for this. I’m so tired at the moment. It made me feel more normal and a bit relieved. My LO is 8 months and he’s amazing but I miss sleeping and lie ins!

    From one tired mummy to another. 🙂

  80. Catherine

    Thankyou this made me cry because I can relate to pretty much every word. I have a two year old and a four month. I’m feeling exhausted but this made me feel a little better. X

  81. Amanda

    I know you have a lot of comment but one I had to write one too.
    Reading this made me feel like I was reading a post I could have written about myself.
    I honestly thought I was the only Mom that got tired. I take my kids to soccer and gymnastics and I see these Moms there all perky and ready for the day and I think wow what have I gotten into. It’s 9 am, I’ve been up for 4 hours already. It was hard enough to get the kids to cooperate and get in the car so we could be here on time. Now I’m physically exhausted and I have to sit here for an hour when I can barely keep my eyes open. Some days are better than others but I recently found out I have hypothyroidism which explains being tired. But now trying to worry about a diet change, losing weight, my mom living with us, a husband who works all day and is at school at night and sports for the kids all the while fitting in healthy meals and snacks…..yeah I’m tired lol.so reading your post made me feel awesome! I’ll take some time and read your other posts too!! Great writing. You are an amazing Mom!!!!!

    • It sounds like you are doing a lot of good things to help with your fatigue and be the best mom you can. Keep it up, take it one day at a time, and let go of the rest!

  82. Melanie

    Wow! thank you. That is exactly what I needed. Being pregnant with number 4 while I have to care for a 5, 2 and 1 year old all day cause it’s summer break. And my last two still wake up at night ( of course at different time haha) I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. But Thanks to you I felt understood and i got the push I needed to keep going in believing that I am a good mother! And so are you!

    Once again thank you for sharing this post

    Sending you many blessing

    • Oh my – 4 under 5. What a full plate you have! My mom had 4 in 6 and what you are dealing with reminds me much of the stories she tells. It sounds like you are doing great! Hope you survive the rest of your summer break!

  83. Shannon

    -_- im bfeeding babys 6 months old and sleeps 9.30 wakes at 2 then at 5 then at 7 then at 9 and won’t go back to sleep untill 12 sometimes I’m so tierd from being up all night I go to bed with her at 12 this means I don’t wake untill like one. I feel like such a bad mum because what person wakes at 1pm that’s just “lazy” I feel lazy but I can’t function. That is her rutine if shes doing well! But at the minute every single time I put her to sleep and get up to go down stairs the crying starts. Every time I put her in her cot she cries. Like shes in so much pain. My bed seems to take all the pain away but I can’t sleep in a bed with a partner and a baby. He dosnt help settle her at night her just expects me to get up and feed her to sleep. I’m so tierd. Shes watching TV now atm and I hate myself for it ! But I cannot function. On top of all this regardless how tierd I am at night even if she does sleep, I can’t. I feel like typing “please help me!!!” “Please come babysit for an hour” but its useless. Nobody understands here. And everyone works, I don’t drive and no local daycare where I live. No money to pay for it. I’m counting the minutes untill she gets tierd again so I can get some sleep. I hope I can sleep !

    • It sounds like she just has days and nights a bit mixed up. Sleep when you can. The older she gets the more regulated her schedule will become. It’s very hard to schedule first baby’s on a routine, especially when you have no help.

  84. Britney

    I found this while searching through Pinterest. I started crying half way through. Thank you so much for this. Thank you so much for caring enough about other mothers out there to write this. This really made me feel so much better.

  85. Holly

    The tears are rolling down my cheeks right now as I desperately needed these words of encouragement tonight. I am an exhausted mother of a brilliant and beautiful 2 year old boy who has slept through the night fewer times than the fingers that number my hands and has recently taken to waking up at about 5am each morning. I work full time and try so hard to be a “good mother” and just today freaked out on my husband due to exhaustion and the need for some sympathy in my current plight. Your words spoke so profoundly and accurately to where my heart currently is. Thank you for sharing & thank you for the much needed affirmation. God bless you and your family!

  86. Amy

    Thank you I’m a stay a home with 6 month old that doesn’t sleep and no help. Your kind words are just what I needed god place just at the right time for these moments.

    God bless we need more people like you.

  87. Megan

    Thank you for writing this. I’m a newly divorced former military spouse solo parenting a 2 and a 4 year old. I felt like a panic stricken, patience limited, gremlin all day. I was searching for advice and this post calmed me immensely. So glad I stumbled upon your honesty. This really helped me get a grip.

  88. Anonymous

    Thank you! I needed this. I’m 29 weeks pregnant with twins and I also have a 2 and a half year old. I’m so exhausted it’s such a lonely feeling. All I want to do is play with her and be more patient. I’m really looking forward to feeling more energetic again x

  89. Kristy

    I’m a Google searcher! Single mom of a 2 year old boy and I work full-time. My son sleeps all night, but I’m still so exhausted constantly! I can really relate to the guilt and feeling like a bad mom for raising my voice to my son, using the tv as a babysitter, and some other things. Thanks for the post.

  90. avani

    Very motivating.. m a mother of one year old.. n m tired.. when I read this I got tears in my eyes.. thought someone understands.. thankyou so much..

  91. Gemma

    Thank you for this! It is reassuring that other people are going through the same thing and I’m not slowly going insane! Some days I struggle to string a sentence together as my brain just can’t cope with it all! I have a 3 year old and 13 month old and it does seem to be getting easier, as the youngest one grows. He’s starting to sleep a bit better now so hopefully I’ll be able to function more.
    Thank you and good luck everyone!

  92. Nikole

    I really needed this tonight. I have a very sick baby with hand foot and mouth and I am so worn out and exhausted. Every word in this sounded like my own words coming out of my own mouth. I’m bawling, haha I just SO needed this tonight….

  93. Rachy

    This is perfect, just what i needed to hear. I have a 4 year old (turned 4 10 days ago) and 7 week old identical twin boys. It’s tough, very tough. But yes, I am remembering from my first that each phase will pass!

  94. Erica

    Oh my God… Thank you for writing this. My daughter is the light of my life and I love her so much. I feel like sometimes being a single mother I cant give her all the time ahe needs. I work 4 days a week and im told by some when all i want to do is go to dinner with my boyfriend or a movie even ( at times not even getting to do it) shes with babysitters too much… And i have no help from parents or any family, just occassionally my ex. I primarily work when she goes to her dads for her visits with him. I find myself still not getting to sleep at all because theres so much to do that i cant get done while shes gone and i have two days to do it all while working the bulk of my hours at work during that time. I love being a mother but i have felt so guilty about her waking up at 7 or 8 in the morning and i give her a juice bottle and lay in her bed with her while she plays in her room or watches tinkerbell on my ipad. This post made me cry because finally someone knows what im going through, instance by instance. I breastfed too and that was tiring but with each passing phase ive felt a different sort of tired. I guess what it comes down to is the fact that if I wasnt doing all that I could, i really wouldn’t be tired. Thank you for this… You’ve helped me calm my worries by volumes.

  95. Megan

    I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write this. I am sitting here in bed as I have just put my 2 and 3 year olds down to sleep. I am currently pregnant with my third and I am so completely exhausted. We are in the middle of a move and have temporarily moved into my parent’s home (they moved into their cabin for us) and my husband and I are sharing the master bedroom with my
    Toddlers. We are also in the middle of buying my husband’s company and the stress level has reached its max. I have experienced everything that you wrote here and it was such a relief to sit here and cry and realize that it’s okay and I’m not alone. Thank you again for taking the time to share this.

    • Oh my, it does sound like you have SO much on your shoulders. Pregnancy hormones can make everything feel worse, too! I hope you can find a quiet corner to take 10 minutes to yourself today! <3

  96. jenn

    I wish I could help you all out 🙁
    really. I hear you. I have been trying to have a baby and had been told over and over about the amount of work it is. I know how much work it is. I only wanted the chance. But still I stopped trying because I am single and older and I was so worried about the energy. I also have no family and support. So after miscarrying a few times, I gave up. My heart is broken and I sometimes don’t know how to go on. But I won’t be one of the childless women that doesn’t feel for you though. People say stupid things to women with children and women without children. We have to support each other. You are blessed yes but I wish you could be blessed and also get some sleep. Best wishes

  97. Felicia

    Hi just came across this post/blog as I typed into google that it’s tiring being a mother. My first and only son of 17 months old is sick and I am exhausted, I barely get any sleep, I barely shower anymore, and he is rocked to bed every night by 8(IF he goes down at 8) I’ll rock him for Almaty if not an hour some nights and it can be SO exhausting not so but is! I am thankful I read your post ecause I to feel so guilty t son watches so much tv it’s bin so cold out and the same routine can get very boring sometimes…I do miss the makeup an looking good but there’s no other feeling greater then being a mom and know my little guy is safe,cleaned at night with a bath, eaten and feeling healthy. It’s exhaustin though!! You just don’t get what it’s like until you actually have a child; well now I know! I thank you for this post, ALOT!! I don’t get to hear I’m a good mother a lot and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one or alone in this journey of motherhood either! It really is true, I am not the only one..Thank-you for this it really made me remind myself that I am doing what I can and am fighting a good fight…sleep was unwishfully taken for granted and I now wish for sleep. That day will come though, like you said.. After a few years, my son and I will both sleep through the night and wake up feeling refreshed and I’ll always be thankful of the time I took now to teach him to do so❤️ Thank you thank you thank you
    I really needed this

  98. Amy

    This is awesome. Thank you. The amount of times in a day where I worry that I am being a bad mother is ridiculous, and it helps so much to read this and know that I am not. My own mother has been gone for almost 12 years now, but I don’t remember the days I watched TV because she was tired, or the days I ate junk food because she was too tired to cook, or the days she didn’t do laundry. But I do remember her hugs, and how comforting she was, and how she always knew just the right thing to say to make me feel better. It’s nice to be reminded that our job to nurture and love is so much more important than anything else.

    • My condolences for the loss of your mom. I know that, even after that much time, that’s a gap no one else can fill. But, it does offer us perspective, doesn’t it? Remembering what is most important! Thanks for the encouragement, as right now my 5 year old is watching TV and my baby is trying to cry himself down for a nap while I take a 2 second break from the crazy to respond to month old blog comments. Thank you so much for your comment, Amy.

  99. Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m not a mom but I often worry I wouldn’t be ready to be a mom because I get so tired at work. This is so encouraging and I hope I remember it one day.

  100. Anonymous

    Thank you so much! This post brought me to tears, exactly what I needed to hear. I feel so much less alone now! Thank you thank you!

  101. Angela

    I am very sick right now with an active 3 year old. This article really helps. Today has been the hardest so far. I have tried movies, tv, toys, etc. but all he wants is mommy to be up doing things like I usually am. As I lay on the sofa, he pulls my blanket off and yells, “Get up mommy!” It takes all the strength I can muster just to make him food, keep his sippy cup full, change him, bathe him. I have no one where I live except for an ex husband. No friends or family to call. It’s so beautiful out today and he wants to go to the park, as we usually do on the weekend. I took him outside onto our small apartment patio to play with his bubble machine, but it’s still not enough for him.
    He is usually active, but I have taught and worked with him and he’s usually an angel. I don’t know why he is acting so hostile towards me. Help!

    • Three year old boys are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO challenging. Doubly so when you are sick or tired. Hang in there. It DOES get better. Kind of. 🙂

  102. Ruth

    When I’m having a really bad day and I don’t think God is listening to my screams. I come to google. I search and search for someone that has walked this road before.
    Today, I found your blog. All I can say is thank you. Thank you so much for sharing what I’m sure many hide behind closed doors. I know I do. I’m broken, extremely tired. Wondering if a bad mother is better than no mother at all. I will keep at it, one day at a time. Until I can’t anymore.

  103. […] I want them to feel loved and secured whenever they are with me, and I want to enjoy them as much as I can. But there are so many responsibilities that need to be tended to around the house that I guess I need to find a balance. I searched for “when you are too tired” on Pinterest today and I came across these two wonderful posts, here and here. […]

  104. U couldnt have worded everything any better i think im goung crazy i have a 2 month old an 2 year old its so rough ive been so manic low latley an so drained i even screamed at my son an just started crying hes 2 thank u for ur words

  105. Hue

    I am a mom of a 2 year old and a 2 month old daughter and I am exhausted. It’s 3:14 am. I am crying a lot when search for this post.
    Thank you for your words make me feel better. I love my 2 daughters so much but feel like I need 1 more head and 2 more hands to take care of them. The guilt of cannot be a good mom chasing me every day. Too much work, too much worry, too much angry, making me is not me anymore. Children are innocent, so every time I yell at them, I feel really bad after all and wish I can turn back time to fix it.
    I really happy for those moms who have support from their mom or in-law. I wish I could have my mom stay with me to give me some support to raising my children.
    I am so exhausted. I am not me anymore.
    I feel lonely and poor. I am counting every day for it to go by so my daughters will grow up and the tired will turn to another type which is not too much.
    I search for this post in order to look for support and you give me that.
    Thanks so much for being strong to write this post to encourage moms like me who almost experience all things like you.
    I will stay strong for my daughters, will try my best to raise them to be good people.
    I know eventually they will grow up and I will look back to miss those time.
    I know I have to look at my daughters’ eyes to know that they are talking to me that “mommy, I am still young to think that I am not behave so don’t be angry, don’t yell, but be patient with me, teach me, love me and I’ll be good one some day. I love you but not the way you like it to be. I didn’t mean to make you tired but that is the way it is, I couldn’t change anything. So please stay strong with me, every moment will not be the same, it will pass by and you will miss it”.
    I will stay strong with my daughters and thanks again for this support.

  106. Jessica rubio

    It’s 9:23 am on Thursday and my son (24 mo old) woke today at 7 am, i took him out of his crib and let him play in his room while I came back to my bed to hopefully get some more sleep, I’m exhausted lately and your post just reassured me I AM A GOOD MOTHER and its motivated me to get out of bed to get our day started. thank you for writing this, you are appreciated.

    • Thank you, Jessica, for commenting – and I apologize for my late reply. I think it’s great that you gave your son some independent playtime. Our kids need that, far more than we realize, I think.

  107. Danielle

    This was so comforting. I can’t even describe how confusing having a toddler has been. I’m always worrying about if I’m doing or saying the right things. I relate to this post so much. Thank you for writing this. I’m laying here right now, so relieved that my husband is home to take over. And now I don’t feel so bad about bing exhausted. Thank you for this.

    • Danielle, is this your first baby? I can attest to that first baby being confusing at just about ANY stage. First-time motherhood is just plain HARD. But it does get easier. Never feel bad for being exhausted. This is one of the most demanding jobs in the world, and the toddler years are incredibly demanding, especially physically. Do what you can to take care of yourself. Here are some tips:
      http://beautifulinhistime.com/2013/04/23/how-to-be-a-better-mom-while-being-exhausted/

      • Danielle

        Yes! She’ 2 years old. This is my first and I’m only 21! Thank you so much for the link! I have been a lot better since reading your article. I don’t beat myself up so much when I’m having an off day. I came back to read your article over again because today is one of those days. I’m hangin in there 🙂

  108. Rebecca

    I sat here reading this while hiding in my bathroom while my 8 month old son plays with his toys in the hallway. I am sobbing cause I’m so tired and feel so guilty all the time. My son is everything to me and he has just been waking every hour and I’m so sleep deprived. I really needed this so thank you
    Definitely hit home

  109. Anonymous

    Thank you for this article.I really needed it today.I needed to feel like I am still a good mom on days like today when TV is the only answer because I am so tired that the thought of taking even just a shower makes me wabt to pass out lol Oh sleep how I miss you!

  110. Tina

    What a great post. This brought me to tears! Very encouraging, comforting, & uplifting. I have 2 with one on the way- about 2 more weeks left, so then I will have 3. And my oldest IS 3! I have so many aspirations for my family & myself & sometimes it seems so hard to get there when life happens on. a. daily. basis. The waking several times a night, the never ending catching up on housework, the wanting to get in shape but trying to find the time & energy to do it. I can relate to all of what you said- the frustration, & feeling so guilty for yelling, TV, quick & easy dinners when all you want to do is everything the opposite. And then thinking “Well maybe I just try HARDER!” And the cycle begins again. What a beautiful perspective though that you share of what it means to be a good mother after all. Thank you!

    • Tina, I believe you wrote this in those final days of pregnancy…at which point I say EMBRACE those easy dinners and extra TV. Have you had your baby yet?

  111. Anonymous

    Thank you so much for this. I needed this, I’m crying and exhausted but reading this post has made me feeling better. God bless you and all the momma out there just trying to do their best.

  112. Anonymous

    Thank you for this. I’m a mother of a two year old and tonight was kind of rough and had me feeling bad. It’s so good to read these assurances. God bless you and your family!

  113. Jena Evans

    Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m pregnant with my second and my son is two and a half. I’m always tired, feel like I’m just being lazy. The house is a mess constantly my partner doesn’t help me at all, his parents never held him accountable for chores etc. My pediatrician keeps saying only one hour of TV and it seems he’s watching it all day and I hate that. I’m still crying from this article. A lot. My son is dropping this mornings French toast on the floor. It’s hard. It’s so much harder than it sounds or even seems to my partner or even sometimes my mom. I’m so terrified of having two children with a man that I love but sucks as a partner.

    Thank you for writing this. My son just noticed I was crying and is now snuggling on me telling me he’s my friend. My heart goes out to all of us.

    • Jena, I am so glad that this post was encouraging to you. Have you and your partner ever spoken to a counselor? We have had to talk about tough things like this (boundaries, sharing roles and chores) in counseling. Sometimes having an objective 3rd party to help you through things like this can really help. (And it doesn’t mean you have a bad relationship!)

      • Jena Evans

        Thank you, and we have talked about it. Unfortunately it turns out that I have to try and set everything up or else he won’t pursue it. I already tend to feel that I’m responsible for more than my share in the relationship and having to schedule that as well just makes me feel defeated. I know I should just do it and hope things get better but I’m so stubborn and tired :/

        • I think that’s okay. Sometimes, it’s a stage, and you need to set aside working on your relationship seriously and just deal with survival. Other times, you have to just buck up and make it happen. No one can tell you what that point is going to be (definitely not me! especially because I don’t know you!) but I hope you’ll tuck my words of advice away for the future.

          If you are interested, I’ve also started a Facebook support group for young moms. Perhaps you can find some encouragement there: Facebook.com/groups/millennialmomsunite

    • Isra

      Oh yes, I completely understand that one. When overall your husband is a good man, but not pro active with the childs care. Or they simply don’t understand the importance of it. You cringe the thought of going through it all again since they are not as involved already.

  114. Denise

    Thank you so much. I needed this more than you know. God is definitely using you to speak to all of us who feel weary, discouraged, guilty and exhausted. Bless you.

    • Denise, thank you so much for commenting. I hope you have a blessed day of mothering, in spite of exhaustion! Please feel free to check out more encouragement for tired moms on Facebook (facebook.com/beautyinhistime)

  115. Sarah

    Thank you for this reminder. I’m so bone tired of looking after two demanding toddlers on my own all day every day. I know they are a blessing, but it’s so relentlessly demanding and lonely I feel like I’m going mad. I don’t feel like I even have time for God some days…then I feel like an ungrateful whiner and so the cycle continues…One day we will look back and see how far we have come and how all of the struggling makes sense. Thanks again.

  116. Rea Ann Umandap

    What an amazing post. I have been so exhausted because I am pregnant again with a one year old. Working full time. I’m so sad that I can’t even see my daughter before she goes to bed as I get off late from work. And that I’m soo tired to even play with her in the only time with have together in the mornigstar as I am so exhausted because she still wakes up in the night to nurse. I feel like I’m not a good mother. But this made me feel a little better. Than you

    • When is your new baby due? Hang in there. It does get easier, eventually! Maybe when you have time in the mornings to spend together you can watch TV together or read books. That way you are still in a restful state but also spending time with her.

  117. Crystina

    Absolutely love this post and happy I came upon it today. The part that you wrote “good” mothers are the ones that worry about being good mothers hit me hard and let out a good, much needed, crying session. I’m always feeling guilty that my kids watch to much tv or I put them down for nap a little earlier when I know they may not be tired yet. I know I’m an amazing mother but always feel I can do better! The guilt of not playing dinosaurs long enough or taking more time to teach my 2 yr old her colors. This post was comforting!!

    Thank you.

    • Oh I’m so glad that you found this post helpful. I think many times, moms just need a chance to have a good cry and know that everything is gonna be okay, whether they play dinosaurs for the millionth time or not.

  118. Faith

    Thank you. Thank you so damn much for this. I’m in tears. My baby is two weeks old. I’m a first time mom and can’t tell if her constant need to eat or cry is from actually being hungry for the billionth time or from gas pains or from just being a baby or all the above. I’m trying to keep breastfeeding, but I’ve been selfishly tempted to give up and change to formula to make it easier, my body is still so sore from labor that my back hurts to hold her, I don’t remember what it’s like to actually sleep, and I’m to the point of already wanting a break from my child, but at the same time wanting her with me. I had just finished having a break down to my husband about how awful a mother I’m turning out to be when I stumbled across this. I thought surely I was turning out to be one of those awful moms you read about until I read your post. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone, that this is normal, and reminding me that this will pass. Thank you for telling me I’m not so awful after all. Thank you.

  119. Leah

    My name is Leah. I have 5 children 11-2 in age.
    I homeschool so that adds a lot more exhaustion.
    Somedays I literally feel there’s nothing left for me to give. I believe I’m in Gods will but it’s so hard.
    Thank you for this encouraging word.

  120. sandra

    THANKYOU!!!!!! I really needed to read this today. I love you for writing this, you are a genius. (Too tired to write any more but you get how grateful I am)

  121. Ines

    Thank you. Rough night, yelled at my baby this morning before leaving her at kindergarten…. Feeling pretty crappy right now, but your post somehow helped a little bit, so thanks!

  122. Dora Canales

    Wow this post seriously brought me into tears, I’ve never heard someone be so real and I can almost relate to everything you said. My baby throws tantrums almost all day I sometimes want to scream and cry and she’s only 12 months and there’s times I feel like giving up but obviously I can’t. It’s not an easy job especially if your mother in law even mother tells you what to do all the time. I’m 21 pretty much doing everything on my own and well your article did give me more hope. Thank you so much! This whole time I thought I was a horrible mother especially on the tv part because sometimes I can’t even find anything to do with her.

    • Dora, at 21, you’re still trying to figure out your own life, let alone how to be a good mom. I had my first baby at 23 and those first few years were so incredibly hard. I turned 30 this year and I am so different now – so much more confident in my mothering abilities. Still exhausted most of the time (lol but I think that’s just mom life)! Don’t give up! It does get a little easier the older you get and the more experience you have.

  123. EBONY RAO

    Thank you sooooo much for this post! As a single mom by choice, I often struggle with guilt and shame that I am exhausted (worrying too much about those haters that say “well, you wanted to adopt a child on your own). But reminders like this keep me grounded in the reality that we are all in this together, temper tantrums and all.

  124. Can i say, i love you for saying this!!! Yes, im super exhausted to be a good mom. But i love my kids to pieces. Yes, they drive me insane but i just love them so much that i can eat them 🤷🏻‍♀️

  125. Chuchu

    Thank you so much for this post. I feel terribly tired this past few days coz my 17 month old is having fever, he is also teething and looks like he is going to have a cold. He wakes up several times at night and stays up for about 2-3 hours just to breastfeed. I feel hopeless, and doesn’t know who to speak to. But this post made me feel good, I was crying while I was reading this. But I felt better afterwards. Thank you so much for your help. Just to know that I am not alone in this situations makes me understand more the process of raising kids… again, thank you so much!

    • Kelly

      I feel the same I have a 2 yo and a 15 Mon old and I’m 12 weeks pregnant again my partner makes me feel guilty for all those things I wish he only knew and understood how difficult it all really is. I’m reading this playing with my youngest while my oldest sleeps and crying. Thank you for making me feel like I’m doing a good job

  126. Claire Carroll

    Thanks you for this really needed it today 5 month old twins still not sleeping nights and I didn’t sleep for 2 months before I had them as I was so uncomfortable plus a toddler who is also getting up at night and awake early in morning and just so much energy feeling very very tired but this has helped so much

  127. Hayley

    Thank you so so so much . I am exhausted, this made me cry ! As I look at my 8 week old baby boy, I see too despite everything I am a good mother xx

  128. Ugh, I’m crying now. I’ve been going through this since my daughter was born 7 months ago at 32 weeks when my son was 16 months. He’s turning 2 in less than a month and now that it’s warmer out, I’m forcing myself out of the house for his sake. I’m so tired, I always always always nap when my kids nap. Right now, my kids are sleeping, yet I’m posting here. My kids are generally decent sleepers, but I’m still tired. Anytime they’re both asleep, guess what I’m doing? I feel awful when I send my son to bed early, not for his sake but for mine. I wish I had some adderall so I had damn energy again. My housework only gets done at midnight or later, if at all. I beg my infant daughter to go back to sleep knowing she’s up and ready. She always seems to stir when my head hits the pillow and the sensation fills me with dread. I simply can’t get through the day without these naps that no other mother (of toddlers) I know needs. I wonder if my son’s speech issues and late milestones are due to excess tv (probably). Baby Einstein was my go to till my husband put his foot down. My son has an obsession with spinning wheels which stems from boredom. I feel like my kids deserve a better mother most days. Other days, we go to the park, run errands, but those days leave me energetically wrecked. I have a hidden stash of red bull (which doesn’t help, don’t know why I bother with energy drinks anymore). My husband has accepted this fatigue of mine, but not without a fight. I don’t blame him. There’s not much left for him. I’ve made a considerable effort recently which raises his expectations. He’s great though. He works so I can be a sahm. I’m blessed to have a loving husband and two wonderfully unique kids.

  129. Kelly

    Thank you so much for this. I had tears rolling down my face I was reading it because it was dead on how I feel. I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a very fussy 4 month old lately. EXHAUSTED. I work 12-16 hour shifts the days my husband is off and we only have one weekend off together a month. It gets very hard and I am just so tired the last few days and so burnt out. My 4 year old has been on has tablet more than I care to admit lately especially because my 4 month old has required a lot of attention the last couple weeks due to reflux and teething and now constipation. EXHAUSTING. And my 2 year old girl has just been craving my attention so much. Even now I take 10 minutes to read and write this I feel so guilty because this is 10 minutes I could be spending one on one with her since daddy just got home. But I’ll keep on truckin because this too shall pass and I’ll miss the days when my babies were this small and cuddly and I was their whole world. But thank you for your post. It gave me validation even if just for the moment and I didn’t have that guilt even just for a moment. Sending love to all the exhausted mommies out there!!

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