Have you ever had your heart broken by a relationship gone wrong or a dream unfulfilled? Have you ever found yourself trying to find the answers to the blame game? Have you ever “done everything right” and still had it all go wrong?
I was standing in an empty dormitory room, the one right across from mine. It had been empty for the entire semester, but now it was where I was hiding all of my things that I was packing in boxes to mail home.
I was leaving, but I didn’t want anyone to know.
A war had been started within my soul. Part of me that believed that their opinion of me was also God’s opinion: that I really was a rebellious person if I didn’t follow their rules. But part that knew that there was a much bigger picture than that, that God cared more about me and my heart than how closely I followed a set of rules. The fight raged between these two ideas within me for several years to come.
After some prayerful consideration of the objective and direction of this series, I feel that it is necessary to share what I mean when I use the term “legalism.”
When I was living a legalistic lifestyle, I never would have called myself legalistic.
I was driving with a new friend back from the park, and we were discussing our religious backgrounds and some of the standards that we used to follow when we were growing up. We hit on the topic of dress and modestly very briefly, and when I shared with her the strict standards I held … [Read more…]
Beautiful…in His time. It’s the name of this blog. “Finding God’s beauty in the messes of my life” is my tagline, my mantra. But oh…just when I think that I’m good…that I’ve learned enough about His grace and laid down my masks and invited him into my messy life, I realize that there are so … [Read more…]
For four years of marriage, I based how good of a wife I was on my performance. …I stopped singing and shook my head at the irony, as I realized that this problem I have extended far beyond just my marriage. It originated in a faulty view of God that I had believed since childhood.
The more that I love and serve God, the more He’s going to love and accept me.
I think that God created motherhood to show me how sinful and inadequate I am at being a good mother…and thus how much I desperately need Him and His grace. Because there is nothing more humbling than being a mother. Except for being a mother of a sick child. And being a SICK mother of … [Read more…]
This morning my son woke up at 5:45, but was scared to enter the hallway because the hall night-light was broken. He crawled back in bed and went to sleep. Unfortunately for me, I have a touch of a cold and cough and as much as I wanted to go back to sleep, all I could … [Read more…]
I’m sitting in front of my computer almost on the verge of tears…tears of joy, tears of awe at both the goodness of God and the miraculous power of His timing of events in my life. I could probably (and most likely will) fill multiple blog posts about all that God did for me during … [Read more…]