“how can i tell i’m going to be a good mother?”
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Dear Google Searcher:Ā You visited my site today after you searched “how can i tell i’m going to be a good mother?”
I don’t know who you are or anything about you. I don’t know if you are simply considering starting a family, if you are pregnant, or if you have a wee baby in your arms. Maybe you even have an older child.
Maybe you have been thrust into motherhood before you felt you were ready.
I can only guess as to the circumstances that brought you here today. But I hear fear in the text of your search…bewilderment, trepidation, maybe even insecurity. You want to know if you are cut out for this journey–if you “have what it takes.” You want the answer to the question, “Will I be enough for my children?”
I wish I could tell you that there’s one thing you need to be a good mom…that there’s some magic answer to your question. I wish I could give you a checklist that would tell you exactly what qualities you need to have to do this job.
But it’s not that simple. Everyone has their own standards and definition of what a “good mother” is. Other moms may even try to bring you down because they don’t feel that you measure up to their standards of what a “good mother” is.
So I can’t tell you the answer to your question. But let me tell you a few things that I DO know.
“Good” mothers are the ones that worry about being good mothers.
“Good” mothers are the ones who wonder “how can i tell i’m going to be a good mother?”
The fact that you even care enough to ask this question tells me one thing: you care about your children (future, developing, or already born) enough to hope that they receive what they deserve.
I can’t promise you that you will be a perfect mother, or even a good mother. But I think, Dear One, that you already have the makings of great motherhood awakening in your heart, and that you do indeed have what it takes.
Dear Google Searcher: take heart and take hope. Don’t fear. Motherhood is the hardest path that you will ever take, but it’s worth every painful step. Step boldly and with confidence. I think that you are already “a good mother.” You just need to believe it.Ā
18 Comments
pictimilitude
For some reason, I find your words really comforting but for a completely different reason: I don’t have kids (at least for now) but I had a wonderful dog – who was like a son to me – get hit by a car over the weekend. I hope that we gave him the best life we could have. I’ve often wondered if I’d be a good mother. I’ve actually even put it off thinking I need to be more of an adult and have life-experience and more money and so many other reasons…but your post is so beautiful. š
Aprille
Thank you!!! I’m glad that you were encouraged by it!
Marie
Beautifully written and I hope the Google Searcher reads this. This is and has been my take on motherhood. You won’t be perfect. Nobody is. What matters is the love you have for your child. You love and care enough to worry whether or not you will be good enough. That’s what makes a “good mother”.
Aprille
I totally agree!
Sara
i don’t know why, but this one made me cry <3 i really loved it Aprille!! you are awesome.
Aprille
Thanks for saying so. Seeing this search gave me teary eyes as well, which is why I felt the need to write the post!
pioneercynthia
How lovely, and so very, very true.
Roshni
That’s beautiful and so very true!! I hope she comes back and sees this!
Aprille
Me too!
Julie @ NextLifeNOKids
I LOVE this post. Beautiful response!! Oh, and Iām visiting from Honest Voices. Thanks for linking!
Aprille
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Deb
It’s true… always the ones most worried are the ones who do the best… because the point is caring, isn’t it? Visiting from Honest Voices…
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Christine @ African Babies Don't Cry
Yes, so true, lovely š
Thanks for linking up with the Tuesday Baby Link-Up! š
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Deja
This post honestly made me cry, and I loved reading every word. I’m 18, and my boyfriend proposed to me after I miscarried our baby, it meant the world to me that he still loves me as much now after such after a loss, and that he’s willing to continue to love me as much. I’ve been judged for every aspect from age to background and I’ve almost accepted that maybe I can’t be a good mom, even though that is the one thing in this world that I want to be. This post gave me so much hope for the future, it’s so beautiful and I can’t thank you enough for writing it.
Aprille
Deja, thank you for commenting, and my apologies for my late reply.
I am very sorry for your loss. I would like to share my miscarriage story with you. It can be found here: https://beautifulinhistime.com/2014/06/18/imprints-pregnancy-early-miscarriage/