When babies become big boys (and random ramblings about summer)

As I start this post it’s 6:58 am. I’ve been awake for approximately 30 minutes (when I awakened to the sound of pots clanging around in the kitchen. Any time my husband does the dishes that’s music to my ears…but I digress.)

I tried to fall back to sleep, but I couldn’t because I was thinking about Roller Skating and Bumper Bowling and Other Things I Want To Do With My Son This Summer.

This shift toward warmer weather (it was 85 degrees here yesterday) has turned my thoughts toward summer and I keep thinking about All The Empty Days on the calendar.

When Ezra started preschool I immediately thought, “OH NOES! SUMMER IS IN FOUR MONTHS! WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?!?!” Because I quickly started loving all of the alone time and #whitespace after 3 1/2 years of being around this child 24/7.

But now that we have settled into a routine…

I’ve started to really enjoy the days he’s home. Okay, “really enjoy” might be an overstatement because he still drives me completely nuts on those days, but… because I know he’s getting 3 other days during the week of stimulation and socialization, I’m not as frantic to leave the house or to cram the day with activities. I sleep in (sometimes he does too, sometimes he gets up and plays in his room), drink coffee, we read books, do at-home preschool or puzzles, head off to whatever Bible study or social group we have that morning, and then just sort of chill out for the rest of the day.

It’s not always peaceful, but it’s more…I dunno…settled?

So now the thought of summer doesn’t usually send me into a panic anymore.

If we keep him in his current preschool as is our plan (that is, if his continuing aggressive behavior doesn’t get him kicked out between now and then – but that’s another post for another day), come fall he will be in school full-day, five days a week. That’s like…big boy school. It sorta makes me sad and scared and I worry that it’s too much for him, but there’s also a long list of all the reasons which I think it will be good for him too.

So, thinking about that has made me realize that this is sort of our last summer as mommy and baby. I know he’s not a baby. And I know there will be other summers in the future and possibly homeschooling as he grows older, so him going to school every day is in no way the end of the world – no I’m not sitting here crying into my laptop (in case you thought that).

But, it does make me wistful to have a really awesome summer with him. Not like ooh-I’m-gonna-be-super-“intentional”-and-do-ALL-THE-THINGS sort of summer where I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it perfect…but more of just embracing the natural magic that is childhood and keeping my head in the real world (instead of the online world…because, just being honest, sometimes I do that). I just want to chill out with my Baby Boy before he goes off into the world to make his mark as a Big Boy.

I want lots of Park Time and Pool Time and Walking Time and Gardening Time and TV Time and Reading Time and Popsicle Time. That.

And hopefully I won’t go too crazy in the mean time.

(And P.S. Can 3-year-olds learn to roller skate? Cuz I don’t even know!)

Now, here’s some of the daily proof that I see that reminds me how quickly he is becoming a big boy.

^ Turn your volume way up for this one….

…and way down for this one. ∨