finding healing and freedom in secular music
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This post is part 8Ā in a blog series that I have entitledĀ “the wilderness between legalism and grace,”Ā in which I shareĀ how I came to realize that I had an incorrect view of God and self and how I became free of the system of legalism whereby I was trying to earn God’s favor.Ā You can view all of the posts in the seriesĀ here onĀ the series landing page.
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It was my 19th birthday, February 2006. My mom gave me a music box that had a rose inside and played the song The Rose by Bette Middler.
That night my family spent several hours online downloading music – that song and others from that era of music.
That night was a turning point for me.
I was hurting.Ā But for the first time in a long time, secular music was allowed into my life.Ā I let down my guard, and IĀ didn’t care about the rhythm or the beat, the “scooping” or the sliding.
I simply sang, danced, cried…
I felt.
AndĀ there was freedom.
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Music has always been extremely important to me – an extension of my being. And in this journey between legalism and grace, music has been one of the most instrumental things, a companion alongside me in my journey, as well as one of the biggest struggles that I’ve had to sort through.
During my teen years, I only listened to sacred/church music, hymns, or classical music. Everything else was sinful, worldly – and the few times I listened to anything else I was overcome with guilt.
But that night – and in the weeks to come – the music helped me grieve and gave me hope:
When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed, that with the sun’s love in the spring becomes the rose.
What happened that evening opened up a whole new world for me. I spent hours downloading music, checking out CDs from the library, and just laying in bed listening to secular music as I cried, felt the pain of loss, grieved, and healed.
There was something about Lost Without Your Love and Blessed Are the Believers that just met me right where I was and helped me heal far more than Trust and Obey ever could.
“And someday soon I’ll wake
And find my heart won’t have to break”
“Blessed are all the left-behind
For their hearts shall one day mend”
By the time summer arrived, I started exploring country music and found out that I loved that as well.
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The issue of music in the Christian community – what kind of secular music and even what style of Christian music is “lawful” for the Christian to listen to – is a highly controversial subject. There are a lot of great people on all sides of the argument, and honestly, it’s not something I want to get into here. But I would like to raise some questions and concerns – simply to get us to think.
One of the words that gets thrown around a lot in regard to music is “fleshly.” As in, if it “appeals to your flesh” (ie. if it makes you feel good) then it is “bad.”
I just don’t believe that anymore. We are fleshly, human beings. Our humanity is a gift from God. Yes, our flesh has been corrupted and perverted by sin, but ultimately, our human form was created to enjoy beauty, music, community, friendship, sweet food, entertainment, and dancing. To enjoy feeling. Our emotions are a gift. Yes, they need to be surrendered to God’s control and we need to take responsibility for them. But there is a difference between our “sinful flesh” and our simple “humanity.”
God never expects us to not be human.
“…for he remembered that they were but flesh…” Psalm 78:39
“For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.” Psalm 103:14
“…all flesh is grass, and all the goodliness therof is as a flower of the field; The grass withereth, the flower fadeth:” Isaiah 40:6
While I am using these verses out of context, I think the principle is obvious:
We are human and God knows that. It’s okay to be human and enjoy human things.
I think that music is one of those human things that God gives us freedom (er…dare I say “Christian liberty?) to enjoy.
I don’t have the perfect answer. Is music a black and white issue or is it a gray area? Is it possible that what’s okay for me is wrong for you, and vice versa?
(I have an opinion, but it might not be the right one.)
Music is an area of Christian living that I tend to be pretty pragmatic about. I’m just being honest here. Every song I’ve ever listened to or even liked may or may not be right before God, and I know that. But there’s been a lot of music, right or wrong – good or bad, that has helped me get through some rough times. And so, I’m very thankful for it – for the comfort, for the freedom, for the healing, for the feeling. For feeling human.
And I’m thankful for God’s grace – thankful to know that whether or not I listen to all of the right music or not, God still loves me. He can use even my mistakes to draw me closer to him, and he does. Every single day.
So, let’s tread carefully and respectfully here, but comments are open! What are your thoughts on secular music? Have you ever found that music you had previously considered “bad” or “fleshly” helped you through a rough time and made you second-guess your beliefs about music? Has listening to the “right” music simply been another way for us to try to earn the favor of God or look like a good Christian?
[Series Disclaimer: I have hesitated for a very long time in sharing this chapter of my story because I wanted to be respectful of people and places from my past and not call out their hurtful actions in a public forum.Ā This series isĀ in no wayĀ meant to be an exposĆ© or a public “bashing” against any certain people, churches, or institutions.Ā It is my intention with this series to be discreet and share only things that I feel are relavent to the over-all message I’m trying to portray.Ā I’m several years removed from many of these memories, so this is an imperfect telling, but told to the best of my recollection.]
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To view all the posts in this blog series, visitĀ the landing page.
Next post, part 9:Ā āI will keep believing that God still has a planā
44 Comments
amandapandaprays
This really hit home with me. There was a time when I first came to college that I thought in order to be a good Christian I needed to delete all none christian music from my laptop. I did. In the months that followed I found myself googling songs that made me think of home (such as “I’m already there” a song that made me think of my dad and his deployments) that I had on my computer before and no longer had. I found that deleting my music hadn’t made me a better Christian, instead it made me feel like I was the only one feeling frustrated, or homesick, or tired. Music let me see that it was okay to feel because those artists and writers felt it too.
Aprille
I love that song!
heartsonguard
This is a wonderful post. Music has always been a very important part of my life – secular and now Christian. Martin Luther loved music – Lutheran services have a LOT of singing – he said “My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solved and refreshed by music when sick and weary.”
God doesn’t just speak to us through church-y and holy things. He speaks to us through the world as well – through books, through people, and through music.
One thing to remember is that we are saved by his grace through faith and made free. We have freedom to make a lot of choices as we are now free from the bondage of sin. That being said, Romans 14 is quite clear that our freedom should always be exercised with our neighbors in mind. We may be able to listen to secular music ourselves and still stand firm in our relationship with God, but we must always gauge how the choices we make – yes, even in music choices – might affect the faith of those around us. If a choice in song might shake a friend’s already wobbling faith, then we should refrain. Hopefully that makes sense š
Love this post!!!
Aprille
Yes, April, that makes a lot of sense. We should definitely consider how our choices in music might affect others, and I agree that the Bible is clear on that.
I love that quote by Martin Luther!
one4drosas
Thanks for your post, it brought to mind a book I read recently called ‘Finding God’ where you least expect Him by John Fisher. he describes a lot of what you are saying, he became closer to God through secular music, and has been on a thirty year quest of finding and worshiping God the creator, through every created thing.And provokes the reader to do the same. Jesus was in the world,( walking, eating, socializing and celebrating) but He knew He was not of this world but He didn’t try to shut the world out, instead He knew ‘For God so loved the world ,He sent His only begotten Son’. And because He was sent He went, out into the world, and overcame it, and those who sat in darkness saw a great light. Christians have this enormous sense of “perceived evil’, but it is really a religious spirit. Christ has called us to go into the world and we are busy trying to keep the world out,with the mindset that’ if it’s secular it must be sin!’ . It’s true we are in the world but not of it. It’s another thing to be in the world but afraid to engage in it. . As if by not doing so, we are remaining pure and undefiled. But in reality,we ban just about everything, (even the good things) to maintain the “Christian bubble” we’ve built. We are called to be a light in the world not a light in our bubble… Thanks for your post, it may cause some bubbles to burst!
Aprille
Thank you for your input. While I agree with some of what you have said, what you say of John Fisher sounds very pantheistic. We are to worship God and God alone – our worship is between us and him, not “through every created thing.” Scripture is clear that creation is not to be worshipped.
Music is wonderful and can help us prepare to worship God, but true worship is in Spirit – in the heart. Not through creation. I hope this makes sense.
one4drosas
Oh, I am in no way saying worship “created things”, I agree worship God and God alone,and so does the writer I was referring to. God, is the “creator of all things”. Every thing that was created was created by Him.-“You are worthy ,O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created”.-Revelation 4:11.
What I was trying to convey is not Pantheism. Rather recognizing God’s handiwork in creation, and acknowledging God as Creator, and marveling at His many faceted ways of displaying His creativity through out creation especially through Humanity, His greatest creation. Hope that clarifies things:).
Aprille
Yes it does! Thanks for clearing it up!
jeanniere
What one person states about THEMSELVES in a public forum is up to them. But when that person discusses what happens between family in the privacy of their own home on a public forum without the permission of that family is an invasion of that privacy and disrespectful to that family.
Jill
Jeanniere, I hear your concern, but as a reader, this author shares her own story. She doesn’t name any names and only those in her intimate circle know the individuals involved. I find it odd that someone would find this beautiful story an “invasion”. It paints this loving family in such a sweet and precious light. What I see is a family filled with love and joy, and intimacy that few families ever know. And this picture is one of the grace and love of the Master…one of healing, wholeness and love. Not sure how this could be viewed as disrespectful. Could you elaborate?
Mary Bush
Aprille, the way you wrote your family’s experience of freedom was with much dignity and grace, and certainly no disrespect was seen through what I read. I think the beauty of the post lies in the rawness of the moment, the coming together of like-minds and finally being able to feel together.
I think had you just mentioned yourself, the truth of the moment would have been lost and the post would not have been the same.
I know others may feel that this post is an invasion of privacy or disrespecting of your family, but I think you showed us how beautiful it can be when a family comes together, allows for healing, and allows for bonding.
Isn’t it funny how music can so inspire us? And I love how God can give us glimpses of Him even through something that may not necessarily be “Christian”.
Beautifully written. Thank you for your candidness and honesty!
jeanniere
Considering it is my family and this reflects on ALL members of my family it is an invasion of our home to be publicly discussed without our consent. Regardless of how it may be presented what happens in the home should stay in the home.
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Mish
I think I learned to sing before I could talk. I grew up in a very liberal home, so my exposure to music ranged from music in (a Lutheran) church on Sundays to practically every other genre under the sun (except jazz and rap). I could lisp the words to “Come Sail Away” by Styx and then turn around and sing along with Barry Manilow or John Denver, all before I was the ripe old age of 3. All I can say is, there is beautiful, meaningful music practically everywhere you look. And I can honestly admit that had some of it not reverberated through my soul at some very dark times, I would have given up. Music heals. Thank God for that!
Aprille
Ahh I love John Denver…that’s one thing I did listen to while I was growing up! Still some of my all-time favorite music!
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Marie
You do the same thing I do sometimes… when you state something you believe that disagrees with someone in authority/or something you used to believe you feel uncomfortable and aren’t confidant in what you have to say.
Relax…. God is bringing you on a journey and you can be confidant in the convictions He’s led you to up to this point. God is sooo big and SOO outside of the boxes we put him in. If we don’t have it “exactly perfect” in our opinions/convictions that’s ok….
I think music is an area where God didnt’ really give us guidelines…. like on beat etc…. so relax!
From one gal that has and is dealing with being too uptight/legalistic/in my own box to another.
these are late night ramblings for me…. š I know that we both have and will have a ministry to people that have dealt with legalistm even people from other faiths that are more orthodox like Orthodox Jews etc…. š
Anna Ferrar
Thanks for this, Aprille. Very relatable. š
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tonycutty
One of the finest worship songs ever written I ‘Annie’s Song’ by John Denver. Sing it to Jesus and you will know what I mean š
Aprille
Had to listen to it again in that light…beautiful!
1helpedgirl
Wanted to say “Thank You” for this Blog.
This speaks volumes to what I have been feeling and certainly experienced throughout my life . Felt like I was the one writing it myself and appreciate the opportunity to know that its not just me.